What is it about being in a relationship that makes me crazy????? I feel like I become a totally insecure, emotional and scared little girl when I'm in a relationship and I don't know why.
I was fine without a guy, I didn't even want to be in a relationship. I've always been happiest when I'm with my girlfriends and taking care of myself. But, then there is that part of me that gets lonely and wishes I had a man in my life. It's not an overwelming feeling, it's just a little piece of me that dreams about being in a relationship. The thing is, I'm never in healthy relationships. I've been abused both mentally and physically, I've been cheated on, I've been lied to, men have stolen from me - I always pick the WORST men possible.
So, I'm finally in a nice healthy relationship with a great guy and he treats me so well, and I'm all insecure now. I'm constantly worried that he's going to break up with me, I'm scared that the ex girlfriend will come back around and steal him away, I wonder where he's at and what he's doing when he's not with me, I obsess about the smallest things, I'm insane. I'm NOT like this when I'm just dating. I instantly become insecure when I'm in a relationship and I don't know why. It's really crazy. I mean, of course I'll be fine if things don't work out. I didn't want to be with a man in the first place. He totally pursued me and I never thought that it was going to workout. Now that it is working out, I'm all crazy in my head. Is this another form of self sabotage or what???? Well, my hope is that as time goes on I'll get a grip on things and allow myself to be happy.
Anyone else ever feel like this or am I just insane?
After reading a lot of your comments, I agree totally that the key to keeping a guy around is to NOT act insecure. Nobody wants a girl that jumps whenever you snap your fingers. I don't actually tell him about the crazy thoughts in my head, I just wish I could stop the committee that is taking place between my ears.
At any rate, he knows about this blog so I'll be deleting this post later today. Thanks for the input!