Okay guys - this is going to be a girly post so you might want to turn your head now before it's too late.
I woke up this morning to a surprise - Aunt Flow was visiting and then all of a sudden it became crystal clear as to why I've been so depressed. When I go through PMS, I literally lose my mind. I feel as if the world is completely overwelming, I can't get my ass off the couch, I cry a lot for no reason and I wonder why I'm so miserable. Honestly, I feel like I just can't go on - life is too hard and I don't want to be involved with anything. I lose all motivation, it's horrifying.
A few months back when I had health insurance with my last job, I went to the doctor and explained these few days of misery that happens to me every single month and my doctor put me on a birth control pill called Yaz. It was supposed to help with my PMS and holy shit it did! It worked miracles. I was fine all through the month, I didn't want to kill myself anymore and my moods were stabilized completely.
But, there is no generic prescription for Yaz and when I switched jobs I lost my insurance for 3 months. So, I was paying like $60 out of pocket for these pills for the first two months and then I just skipped it all together on the third month. I just got the pills like a week ago and I started taking them, but obviously, they haven't kicked in yet because my misery was back ten fold. I literally wanted to die. Does anyone else go through this PMS bullshit like I do? Do you feel like life is too overwelming to go on and just want to cry day and night? It amazes me how much PMS can affect my life.
At any rate, I will NEVER go off these pills. I'm back on the Yaz and I plan to stay on it forever, even if I lose my job and have to pay out of pocket, it will be worth it.
So, that's my experience with PMS. The reason I'm 34 and just now figuring out all this is because for the past 15 years I've been medicating myself in other ways, so I never even felt the affects of PMS. In fact, during the last two years of my using, I was using so heavily, that I lost my period all together. When you stay up for like 8 days at a time and stick foreign substances in your body about every 20 minutes, your body stops functioning properly.
Now that I'm off all the juice, I actually have to feel all the feelings - good and bad. It's craziness.
So, that's my story and my revelation from the past few days. I'm happy to say that I'm feeling a lot better today. Thanks for the support guys!