Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A revelation

Okay guys - this is going to be a girly post so you might want to turn your head now before it's too late.

I woke up this morning to a surprise - Aunt Flow was visiting and then all of a sudden it became crystal clear as to why I've been so depressed. When I go through PMS, I literally lose my mind. I feel as if the world is completely overwelming, I can't get my ass off the couch, I cry a lot for no reason and I wonder why I'm so miserable. Honestly, I feel like I just can't go on - life is too hard and I don't want to be involved with anything. I lose all motivation, it's horrifying.

A few months back when I had health insurance with my last job, I went to the doctor and explained these few days of misery that happens to me every single month and my doctor put me on a birth control pill called Yaz. It was supposed to help with my PMS and holy shit it did! It worked miracles. I was fine all through the month, I didn't want to kill myself anymore and my moods were stabilized completely.

But, there is no generic prescription for Yaz and when I switched jobs I lost my insurance for 3 months. So, I was paying like $60 out of pocket for these pills for the first two months and then I just skipped it all together on the third month. I just got the pills like a week ago and I started taking them, but obviously, they haven't kicked in yet because my misery was back ten fold. I literally wanted to die. Does anyone else go through this PMS bullshit like I do? Do you feel like life is too overwelming to go on and just want to cry day and night? It amazes me how much PMS can affect my life.

At any rate, I will NEVER go off these pills. I'm back on the Yaz and I plan to stay on it forever, even if I lose my job and have to pay out of pocket, it will be worth it.

So, that's my experience with PMS. The reason I'm 34 and just now figuring out all this is because for the past 15 years I've been medicating myself in other ways, so I never even felt the affects of PMS. In fact, during the last two years of my using, I was using so heavily, that I lost my period all together. When you stay up for like 8 days at a time and stick foreign substances in your body about every 20 minutes, your body stops functioning properly.

Now that I'm off all the juice, I actually have to feel all the feelings - good and bad. It's craziness.

So, that's my story and my revelation from the past few days. I'm happy to say that I'm feeling a lot better today. Thanks for the support guys!

11 Comments:

Blogger Doc said...

PMS Must suck... One reason I am glad I am a male.

BTW - Hey Carmen sorry I haven't stopped by recently...

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger CC said...

Yaz must be the new Snickers!

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Karen said...

Whenever I go through those nasty, grouchy, bitchy times, I am SHOCKED when I actually get my period and I can look back and realize it was PMS. DUH. I happens every month and every month I am amazed that I can connect my mood to the the hormones.

Yaz is great, but I had a bad reaction to it.

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Heather said...

Yeah, I go through a 'period' (no pun intended) every month where I get really sad and look back on a lot of the past, want to just sleep and lay around, not talk to anyone or be social. It sucks, but at least I recognize that it's my hormones, right?! lol. Not to mention cramps. Ugh. When I was in high school before I got on the pill, they were waaaaaaayyyy drastically worse. Like nausea and jabbing stomach pains. I'd be rolled up in a ball and have to miss school for a day or two. Yick!!!

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Joey said...

Now that is great news!

Kinda makes me wanna go buy some stock in whatever company manufactures that Yaz stuff.

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Mel said...

Well, I get some serious PMS but I have NEVER experienced anything as horrible as the last time I TOOK birth control. For the first two months I was an irrational pyscho mess. Everything was the end of the world. I didn't go a day without crying. I was bloated and cramping all month long. It eventually eased up a bit after my body got used to being on birth control again but I felt so much more shitty ALL month than I normally did in the one week of PMS that I gave up and stopped taking it. I've been happier since then but still...PMS time comes around and the tears are the first thing to start "flowing" HA.

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Mel said...

and can I say that every man should learn that we cannot control these emotions. You wouldn't want to make shit like this up. Yes...the color blue will make me cry and if you ask me WHY I'm crying I'll hit you in the face and then cry about that too....just the way it works.

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Betty said...

Glad you're feeling better. And, I'm glad you figured out what was causing your problem. PMS can be brutal.

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger jusdealem said...

PMS is simply terrible and it seems the symptoms are much worse for me now in my mid 30s for some reason. I cry over such random things, it's so stupid. Plus I turn into Super Bitch when I'm not crying. I hate it, but I hear menopause is even worse...it sucks for real. :(

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Mister Underhill said...

That's how I feel about the wellbutrin. It's funny how hormones can have such a big effect. Reminds me of the movie tom and liv. She is completely insane...but she could have been fine all along with simple hormone treatment.

January 23, 2008

 
Blogger Joey said...

I know my mom was fucking bananas when she started go through "the change"

Once she started getting (I think estrogen shots) she was happy as could be.

January 23, 2008

 

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