Here we go...
So, I open up myspace this morning and am greeted with this e-mail...
"hi . i want to be cool with u but i kinda think u dont want to be nice with me. i would like to ask u if u would please take all the pictures of u and tim off ur page please. its not something im comfortable with. and please dont take offence to this. im just tryin to do wat i gota do to let all this pass. i know ur not comfortable around me and thats fine. im fine with u. but i am not fine with u havin pics of him and u on ur page. please understand that im coming to u as an adult and im not at all trying to be mean. I know u will understand. Thank you carmen. hope i didnt upset u. "
This comes from a girl named Autumn. I think she's around 18 or 20. She acts like she's about 15. She's a girl that I know unfortunately from N.A. She's super immature, she is going out with that loser Tim that I was hanging out with about a month ago and as you can see, she wants me to take some pictures down.
I'm thinking "go to hell". The pictures are in my Dopes on Slopes file - he was a part of the trip, why should I take them down? A tiny part of me is thinking maybe I should take them down just so she'll leave me alone - but a much bigger part of me is thinking of saying something like "here's an idea - don't visit my page anymore and then you'll never have to see those pictures again - oh and by the way - grow up".
Any input gang?
Keep in mind, I see her about 3 times a week at meetings.
posted by CarmenSinCity at
Thursday, April 10, 2008
46 Comments:
send Duggles to give her Grammar lessons.
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
Well, "Laura", if she's reading this blog and checking my myspace page every day to see what pictures I am posting, she needs to get a life, worry about her own recovery and not be focusing on what I'm doing. I talk about MY life on MY blog and if you intrude on MY life - you run the risk of me talking about you on MY blog.
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
I've read this blog for months and months and I've never commented.
Carmen, I think you are a hell of a girl who has made strong strides in her recovery and you are a fun read. I enjoy each post, every day. This child obviously has issues, and as part of her recovery, should realize that people have pasts (um...is that not a huge part of recovery?)
Keep the pictures up, who cares. If she is that insecure in her "relationship" with Tim, she needs to take a closer look at the relationship.
The simple fact that she checks your Myspace page is a sign she has issues.
Keep up the good work, us out here in "YOUR" cyber world think you are doing great!
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
If she's got issues let her deal with them herself. There's no need for you to take down pictures from your myspace if you don't want.
But to play devil's advocate for a moment, if you were dating a guy and you saw pictures of him online with a girl you both knew would what you do? Would you think, "hey they're just friends, no big deal" or would you think "that bitch better take down pictures of my man and stop playing me for a fool"
April 10, 2008
Tell her to grow up, but in a nice way. I would just write back and say something to the effect of, "I appreciate you coming to me with your concerns, but the pictures are of my ski trip, which Tim just happened to be on. I will choose what pictures I want to put up on my myspace."
Something like that. It's your page, it's your life, it's your friends, you have the right to put up whatever pics you want.
No I'm not a former drug addict or anything like that and I can't "relate," but I understand that she has issues and may have a tougher time dealing with them than others. However, she lives in the same world we all have to live in, and everybody has to grow up sometime.
You taking down the pictures will only serve to justify her insecure and immature behavior.
It would be different if the pictures were on a page not your own. But they aren't. So don't take them down. Unless you actually want to.
Em
PS Don't listen to Laura. She didn't do a good job of tactfully disagreeing. In my opinion, people who cannot disagree with tact aren't worth listening to. :)
April 10, 2008
She needs to recite this:
God grant ME the serenity to ACCEPT the things I can not CHANGE.
COURAGE to change the things I can.
And WISDOM to know the DIFFERENCE.
OVER, AND OVER, AND OVER AGAIN!!!!
So many pieces to her life's puzzle and this one is an issue!
Tell her to call her sponsor.....
P.S: Can you share the link to the pics, if he is hot and worth checking out... hahahaha
April 10, 2008
That's one of the most idiotic requests I've ever heard, and it's controlling to boot. Just blow it off completely, and if she continues to persist, say it's your blog and she doesn't have to visit it, the end. I'd tell you to say something a lot rougher than that but it sounds like you want to keep a relationship going with her.
April 10, 2008
Carmen, I do not see that you are doing anything wrong..Everyone has a past and with that past come friends, family and ex's.. If she cannot get over the pic like you said, there is not a need for her to come to you page!
Tim obviously is your friend, if he is not his pic would not be up! She needs to accept she is dating a man, that had a past before she showed up!
You do what you want to do and she can stay off your eff'n page!!!
Single
April 10, 2008
Tell her to F-Off. Also tell her since it's highly unlikely that two losers like her and that dude will still be together more than another couple of weeks she really doesn't need to worry about it.
April 10, 2008
It's not like these are intimate pics of you two or anything...I don't see the big deal. I think you should tell her that she just might be a tad too immature to date such an obvious player and that she should prolly rethink dating anyone until she has worked on her self esteem issues. The pics should stay.
Btw, this dude looks like he's in his 50s...she's 18/20??? WTF???
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
Just email her to explain that the pictures don't mean anything since you haven't had sex with him since last weekend.
April 10, 2008
Carmen, I only want what is best for you, and in this case, it may be to take down the pictures that have just you and him in them, if there are any. Group shots should not be an issue.
You have two choices: (1) take down the pics and move on, or (2) don't take them down and deal with the fallout. Even though you did not do anything wrong, you cannot change how this other person acts/reacts. You can only change how you act/react. In this case, you can either stand your ground, in which case you really win nothing and have to continue with building drama, or you can accept her request and play along. It may feel like you are buckling to pressure, but you are really just following the path of least resistance. When you really think it over, are you gaining anything of substance by keeping the pics up? Now compare that with taking them down, which will gain you a bit of peace and quiet. Oh, and you may want to unpublish this post when it is all said and done.
Don't be that mean cheerleader you just wrote about.
Hey, but whatever you do, I got your back.
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
I'd second Jordan's recommendation. There's a saying in life - "Pick your battles." This, at least from my perspective, is so minor, that doing her this small favor seems trivial.
With that said, however, it is completely your right to keep those pictures there and say "Fuck off" to anyone who doesn't like it.
But I'd imagine you'd rather spend your energy elsewhere on more important things.
My .02.
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
Can't you make the picture section in Myspace private? I believe you can also choose who can view them among your friends list.
April 10, 2008
My question for Laura would be, isn't that girl learning anything?
I think its rather selfish to ask someone to remove a post/picture/video from their blog unless it was their own picture or story.
Much like if this girl wanted the email removed here, it should be done.
I think NA is more about creating self-worth without the use of drugs/alcohol. Maybe she needs to grow up and feel more secure about herself and any of her relationships versus expecting others to do it for her.
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
First of all as a newcomer in
recovery she shouldn't be involved in any relationships other than herself, with a higher power and sponsor...
We are recovering addicts who meet regularly to help each other to stay clean. There are no dues or fees. The only requirement for membership is the desire to stop using. It doesn't say that we have to bow down to anyone or anything.
April 10, 2008
The pictures seem pretty innocent, she should be more worried of tim an dthe other guy on the bed.
I would just leave them there as is.
April 10, 2008
What dramz!
Carmen, do you have any pictures of you and Tim naked? No? Do you want to buy some? Muahahaha!!! I am so immature. Sheesh.
Can't you just crop him out of the pics? Or maybe just for fun put a little yellow smiley face on all his pics.
Bottom line, do what you want. This is not your problem.
April 10, 2008
Who is this "Laura" person, anyway? Why does she think she can just jump in from cyberspace oblivion to tell you how to manage your blog and your life, for that matter? I am always amazed and amused when I see comments by people who are quick to try to control others.
Furthermore, if I ever had an inclination to tell a perfect stranger how to manage his/her life, I'd like to hope I wouldn't hide behind anonymity to do it.
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
life is a journey
a pic can be just a refelction of the past
tell her to stop romancing the issue, it's just a pic
tell her to grow up
p.s I finally did a tabloid post :)
April 10, 2008
Yeah, I'm with Betty... "Laura" is a complete B****! Don't let her trash talk get ya down.
I say taking down the pics is likely the best option. Simply because I'd imagine it's the path with the least expected headache. (I know I do EVERYTHING w/in my power to keep ALL 15-25 year old girls happy with me! Hell hath no fury like a young women that believes she's scorn.) Despite the lack of logic in her request, I'd assume it's best to simply fulfill it. Just my $0.02...
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
LAURA: SHUT The HELL UP!! I mean comeon you don't even have a public blog, if ya have one at all.. you come here claim you don't know Either of the parties, yet you feel the need to run Carmen in the ground.. It is called her blog, NOT LAURA!
Carmen Block this B from reading your stuff.. she is pissing me off!!!!
April 10, 2008
FUCK THAT...keep 'em up. As a matter of fact, I would get pics of yourself with him every time a camera is present and post them too. Try and get a naked one while you are at it.
If Tim wants them down, then ONLY Tim can make that call. I am sorry but if this girl has issues that go beyond pics that make her uncomfortable, and that is not your problem.
I need to get on this MySpace thing...
April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
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April 10, 2008
Uh....she needs to grow up. If she has trust issues with her boyfriend, she needs to take it up with him.
If you want to keep the peace, take the pics down, but I don't think you have to.
April 10, 2008
40 comments and a dozen retractions and not a word of poker. Entertainment tonight prevails bitches!!!!!!!
April 10, 2008
I'm with BadBlood and Laura. Take em down. You lose nothing. You can let her know that you are not completely comfortable with doing it, but hey, just this once. Then monitor the situation. They will probably be split before the end of the week.
Here is a serious question you can ask yourself: Which decision would I be proud of when I look back?
April 10, 2008
I'd tell the young girl that it's MYspace. Not YOURspace.
And about Laura's comments on posting personal stuff on your blog? So what- it's YOUR blog. Not HER blog. Post what you want.
April 11, 2008
Puhlease! Ridiculous! Keep em up...god, it's not like you are nekkid with the dude.
And what does he have to say about all this?
April 11, 2008
Wow, the retardartion never stops, and I see it also continues on into the comments here.
April 13, 2008
Is that chick freaking kidding me? Leave those pics up. She needs to get over it and grow up.
April 14, 2008
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