The James Saga Part III
So, when we left off, James had sent me a friend invite on myspace and I accepted, but that was it or a while. Finally one day I got a message from him and he was basically just saying that he wanted to let the past be in the past and that we were such good friends before we both got caught up in the partying scene. He has a whole new life now including a wife, a new baby, a real job and he totally got his life together.
Also, he had been looking through my pictures and it was evident to him that I too had cleaned up. Apparently, when I'm not doing well, it's obvious in pictures. I lose a lot of weight, my face is sunken in, and I'm basically a wreck. When I'm doing well, there's a sparkle in my eye that people see. I don't see it. I look back at pictures and I still think I look fine when I'm skinny. I don't see a difference. But, all those years and I wasn't fooling anyone but myself.
At any rate, he was so happy to see that I'm alive and doing well and he wanted to be a part of my life again - even if it's from across the country. It was a great feeling to see that he had forgiven me. So, we've talked on the phone a few times, we e-mail back and forth and his wife even sent me a message saying that James talked about me a lot and that she knew we were good friends and she wanted to get to know me. At some point I think they are coming out to Vegas so that will be a lot of fun!
I'm like blown away that a woman is secure enough in her relationship to actually contact me and be friends with me instead of holding a grudge that her husband has a female friend. I obviously have a lot of work to do in the "being secure with myself" department.
The cool thing is that James keeps in touch with like everyone that I used to hangout with. So, one day I got a text from my good friend Rick and we were able to reconnect. And then I got Rocky's number and I talked to him. Instead of running from my past, I'm trying to embrace it and learn from it.
There are definitely a few people from the past that will never ever talk to me again and I deserve that. However, I'm constantly surprised about the many people who have opened their hearts and let me back in. It's pretty fucking cool!