The good news is that my work week is going by pretty fast. I've been so busy, working through lunch, coming in early and leaving late. I'm not a fan of overtime. I mean, the extra money is nice and all, but I enjoy my time off.
I've never actually had a job where I had to work this hard and pay so much attention to little details and check and double check my work and sometimes I fall short of my expectations and then I beat myself up and it sucks. I feel like I'm drowing sometimes - especially this week.
I was driving home last night and I was just a big ball of stress. My mind was racing, my thoughts were all over the place, I couldn't decide if I should just go home and watch mindless T.V. or go to the gym or go to a meeting or like curl up in a ball and just cry myself to sleep.
I chose the meeting because I decided that sitting in a room for an hour listening to people complain was a lot easier than going home and changing and then sweating for an hour on the elliptical. And then, I stopped in the gas station to get a drink and this really cute guy was in there and I recognized him from a meeting I went to on Monday and I realized he was probably going to the same meeting I was going to and then I was happy :) Yup - that's all it took. Hot guy = stress gone. Cool!
Then I get to the meeting and my ex boyfriend walks in and now my stress is back full force with a nice helping of anger to go along with it because we actually had plans to hang out last night and he never called. And then he sends me a string of text messages through out the meeting and I'm thinking "we could have been having this conversation over dinner or something but instead we are in a room full of people texting back and forth about a bunch of bullshit that really doesn't matter anyway.
And then the cute guy from the gas station walks in and I finally see that he's wearing a wedding ring and now I'm really annoyed. I should have went to the gym.
Oh well. The most ironic part of the night was when this girl was sharing about how she got four years clean and everyone was all happy happy and they brought her a cake and her mom was there and she was talking about how great her life is now and then over the loud speaker we hear "CODE BLUE CODE BLUE IN ICU" and again "CODE BLUE CODE BLUE - ALL DOCTORS TO ICU" and I get the distinct feeling that someone in the hospital a few doors away from us is probably going to die and here she is sharing about her wonderful life and thanking her mother for the BOTH of the interventions.
Talk about a buzz kill.
So, here I go, back to work for another day of trying to keep my head above water.