Oh, woe is me. It's pretty rare that I talk about guys anymore right? I have the most pathetic love life - or, shall I say - "lack of" sex life in America. Seriously, it's the same old story and I sound like a broken record so I don't even talk about it.
But, for those of you that couldn't already read me like a book - I like bad boys. I like guys that treat me like shit. I like a challenge. I'm addicted to the chase and although I don't always fall out love when I get the bad boy - it seems that he does. Because the guys I like are just like me, they enjoy the challenge too.
I sort of thought that once I gave up drugs, went to detox, went through rehab and finally focused on guys instead of partying that I'd automatically find this great guy, we'd fall madly in love, get married and have really cute babies. Unfortunately, old habits die hard and even though I don't party anymore and I don't meet guys at the clubs anymore, I'm still not in a relationship. In fact, my dating life has screetched to a HALT.
There are a lot of reasons - to name a few...
- I was dating only guys that were in N.A. because I knew they were clean, but of course, they are still addicts, they still love the lifestyle and just because they aren't using drugs that doesn't mean that they know the first thing about dating or relationships. Many of them are way more fucked up than I am. And, I'm the first to admit that I'm fucked up. I'm completely spoiled, I have a hard time sharing or even trying to understand someone else's point of view and now, as I'm aging, I realize that I'm stuck in my ways. Most of the time I'm not even willing to put myself out there to even try to meet anyone. I hate first dates, I hate being uncomfortable and the list just goes on and on.
- Since I don't go to clubs and I'm trying not to date guys in the program anymore, my list of potential mates is severely limited. I meet some guys here and there at bowling but I am so freaking obsessed with looks that I don't give many people a chance.
and this brings me to the whole point of my post...
"Bowling guy" on my team. He's liked me for a while now and I went out with him a few months ago. I let him take me see Batman at the movies and we went out to dinner. I wasn't excited about it, I only went out with him because he seemed like a nice guy and I hadn't been on a date in a really long time.
Nothing spectacular happened. I found myself watching the clock a lot - I wanted to be home on my couch and that was a sure sign that I wasn't into him. I just cut it off at the knees right then and there because we had to bowl together all season long and I didn't want things to be too uncomfortable. Things were fine and then I let him talk me into going out with him again - but this time it was just out with a group of people. And we had fun. He has great friends, they do all this fun stuff - they always have free show tickets, they don't pay for any food or drinks, they don't wait in lines, they have connections all over town and when I am with him he treats me like a queen.
I'm not going to lie - I like being treated like a queen.
If we are gambling he just gives me twenty after twenty after twenty to put in the machines. I never have to open my wallet. He's already telling me to go to the Bebe and Coach websites to pick out and outfit and purse for him to buy me for Christmas. I love that shit.
He, on the other hand, I'm not so fond of in the romantic way. It's been fine because he's a pure gentleman and he hasn't pushed the issue, but I know that he likes me, he tells me all the time and I wish I liked him.
It's annoying. I'm going to be alone forever.
I just struggle with relationships. I'm so hard to please and I can't just string the guy along until after Christmas can I? ha ha
Well, you tell me - how annoying is this? He asks me to go out to dinner last night and I told him that I couldn't go because I had to work late. When I got home, I put the phone on the charger, turned it to silent and hit the couch and then the bed.
I woke up this morning to 7 text messages - this is no exaggeration. And, then in the last message he accuses me of lying about working late last night and gets all pissy about me not calling him back.
Once I texted him this morning and told him I was in bed before ten and didn't get his messages until the morning his whole tune changed and he felt like an ass. He apologized all over himself but hello - he's like 40 years old. Isn't he too old to be acting that way?
Ugh. I was sort of on the border about him but last night really pushed me over the edge. Today he tells me that I have some sort of hold over him and that he's never felt this way about anyone. Gag.
See? I should like this stuff. If Drama Queen would have told me I had a spell over him back in the day I would have totally eaten it up with a spoon. So, it's not that I'm totally unromantic, I'm just not into him.
But, for New Years he wants to take me to see Kid Rock at the Palms in the brand new Bebe dress that he's going to buy me with the new hair from the expensive salon that he wants to pay for and the hot new purse from Coach. OH damn. I know the right thing to do but are we sure I shouldn't just wait until after the holidays????