Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Remember when...

Okay, so remember back in November when I was supposed to go to California with Hilary for the N.A. Convention? We had already pre-paid for the room, the convention, the banquet etc. I took the Friday off work, I packed everything, I was ready to roll when literally, five minutes before I was about to leave the house, Hilary decides she's not going. I did not take it well. Some might say that my reaction was WAY over the top.

In her defense, her mom has been sick for a long time, ever since I've known her and she's been in a home for a few years. Her excuse for not going on the trip was because her mom was too sick and she wouldn't feel right leaving for the weekend.

In my defense, I felt like she was using that as an excuse and her mom was no sicker on Friday than she was earlier in the week, so if she was going to back out, she could have given me a few days notice so that I could have found someone else to go with.

I am still pissed. I don't speak to her at all. I don't go to any of the meetings that she attends and to make matters worse, I sort of slandered her name all over town. I talked shit to anyone who would listen, I text messaged her with some really mean things and I even splashed her name all over myspace. I hold grudges - what can I say? I always have.

Anyway, fast forward to today. I get the call that her mom died and that I should keep her in my prayers. Roommate sat me down last night and told me that I needed to call her, I needed to go the funeral and that I should think back to when she was my really good friend. She was a good friend. We were very close. Now he's got me thinking. Should I reach out?

I know it's probably the right thing to do. What do you guys think??

I found out that there is no service and no viewing. She's having her mom cremated so there's not pressure on me to go to a funeral or anything.

17 Comments:

Blogger Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts said...

I think you should reach out to her. I really do. I would have been pissed at her too, don't get me wrong but in the grand scheme of things everything that happened in the past is petty so I think you should focus on all the years of friendship you have shared and just reach out.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Jay said...

I think you should at least send her a sympathy card, not an e-card either. And in that card write some sincere not saying your sorry about her mother and blah blah blah.

If she responds then you can decide where to go from there. If not, then you at least did the right thing.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger LB said...

I agree with Tee--you should reach out. You guys once shared a good friendship and she may really need you right now. I think you should reach out and see how she reacts. If she is angry or ignores you-dont get pissed again-just let it go...at least you will know that you tried.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

Life is too short to hold grudges for stupid shit.. I am sure you can remember a zillion stupid things you have done to people in your life.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Couture Carrie said...

I totally understand your impatience with her excuse. And I agree with the other commenters that it's the right thing to reach out to her . . .

Hope you're well, Carmen!

xoxox,
CC

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Bayne_S said...

Roomie is wise.

Reach out.

Hindsight is 20/20 but Hillary had a better sense of her mom's health than you realized in November and what seemed justified then has changed.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger pokerpeaker said...

Yes. Or if you don't now, you can't ever again.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger PinkPiddyPaws said...

Yup... do the right thing girlie.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger So@24 said...

You only live once.

Bury the hatchet.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Lilly's Life said...

I think you should. I too would have been pissed at her but who knows what was going through her mind. I daresay she is shattered at the moment. Just reach out and if she wants you to come to the funeral then she will let you know. Dont be surprised though that she reacts badly. Actually Jays advice is spot on! He should be an agony aunt come to think of it.

And I keep grudges too but sometimes in life you realise that big stuff happens and you really need to hold a grudge. In the broader scheme of things what she did probably is not going to be the worst thing that anyone does to you. Truly. We need to forgive and forget most things in our lives.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger CC said...

Do something unique that you know would mean alot to her, something that only you know about. Reach out to her.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Karen said...

I say you should absolutely reach out. I still remember who didn't call me when my mom died. I don't hold grudges, but that is one issue I can never forgive.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Wow, that was awkward said...

I'm late to comment. Did you call her? You will do what is best, I'm sure.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Vegas Linda Lou said...

Yes, Carmen, I definitely think you should reach out. I wouldn't let that one incident ruin what was otherwise a solid relationship.

Like you, I hold grudges, too. I have a sister I haven't spoken to in 3 years. But now I'm wondering if I should reach out to her--why wait for a tragedy?

Call her, send a card... whatever you feel comfortable doing. But don't wait too long.

Friendships are valuable--you know that.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Docsmom said...

Reach out if you want to but only if you don't expect anything in return. As per your own account you trashed her and now is not the time to expect her to deal with that. 'member what our mommies said? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.....
You know I love you girl friend and now is the time to show what I know you're made of.

January 14, 2009

 
Blogger Jennifer said...

Don't let too much more time pass...I think you should contact her. Good friends are hard to find in this world.

January 15, 2009

 
Blogger Terri said...

Jay's advice - 100%; keeps things at an arms length and then see what happens. You'd appreciate her doing the same thing, we all would.

January 16, 2009

 

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