The Real Deal

Okay, I a few readers had some questions about the sponsorship thing and I realize that my posts have been very sporadic - especially in regards to my personal life and my recovery.

So, here goes...

Many Many months ago I started taking pain pills. I sort of justified it in my head because they were prescribed by a doctor and pills were never my problem and they definitely weren't my drug of choice. So, because I'm an addict the pain pill thing got way out of control. To the point that I was getting 120 pills at the beginning of the month and I was out of them before the 2nd week started. 120 is supposed to last you a full month or longer and I was taking them all in one week. So, it all came to a head when on superbowl sunday I was at the Aliante Casino playing poker with my parents and I took a handful of muscle relaxers and I overdosed at the table. The next thing I remember is that security was surrounding me at the table, apparently I had a seizure or something while I was sitting at the table playing poker. My parents were there too, so they came running over and they got me out of the casino and took me back to their house and that's when everything came out in the open. I explained to them that I hadn't really been clean this whole time and that I take pain pills even though I don't have any pain (I just like the way they make me feel) and understandably, they were devastated. They thought I had been doing so good. Anyway, I went to detox the next day because I had to get the pain pills out of my system. I was majorly addicted to them and if I didnt take them every few hours, I got super sick.

During this whole time my dad was in constant contact with my sponsor. He was calling her on a daily basis and he was just so upset that he thought maybe Lisa (my sponsor) would be honest with him and help me. Everyone had the best intentions for me, but I didn't take too kindly to my father calling my sponsor. First of all, the sponsee/sponsor relationship is supposed to be private. But, come to find out, Lisa was telling my father if ]I was really calling her and how often we were talking and what we were talking about. When I found that out I was super pissed. So, I decided to find a new sponsor. Not to mention I moved to the other side of town and it was more convenient to find someone that was living closer to me\. My new sponsor is Rene and I love her to death, I still have a good relationship with Lisa too though She is a good friend.

So, basically I am starting all over again and hopefuflly I will get my shit together.

So, that's my stoty and I'm sticking to it. Hopefully things will work out this time,

Do you have any more questions?