Ugh

So, I got a message today on Facebook from a girl in Maryland that I used to go to high school with. She's coming out to Vegas next month and wants to hangout. I always get a little apprehensive about meeting up with people I used to party with. Her and I didn't hangout that much in high school, but we really hung out a lot in our twenties. We were BIG clubbers and partiers and I actually introduced her to her husband. So, she's got a few kids now and as far as I know, they don't party anymore, but I still worry. I have a lot of resentment and hostility towards the people I used to party with because like, I spiralled WAY out of control worse than anyone else in my group and I felt like a lot of people turned their back on me and talked shit about me and I just wanted to forget I ever knew most of those people, but with facebook and myspace, I've actually reconnected with TONS of those people and most of them don't seem to judge me nearly as much as I thought they did. So, I dunno. I mean, drugs are the devil and they make you really paranoid, so I have to ask myself sometimes if those people were really as mean to me as I imagined or was it really just in my head? Or, did I hurt those people so much that they had no choice but to turn their backs on me? Ya know? I dunno the answer. I have a very vague recollection of past events. I've tried really hard for many many years to bury those feelings and forget about the past and I hate digging it back up. Anyway, I guess I'll probably meet up with them for dinner or something. We'll see.

Did everyone have a good weekend? Mine was very relaxing. I hung out with my dad the whole time because my mom is in Maryland, but she's coming home tonight so I'm sure I'll be heading back to my house tomorrow. I'm getting a little bored and restless anyway so it'll be good for me to head home and back to my meetings. I haven't been to a meeting in like a week. Lame.

I watched two really good movies last night. I watched 3:10 to Yuma with Russell Crowe. It was a Western and I normally wouldn't like a movie like that, but I figured what the hell - Rusell Crowe is in it so it can't be that bad and it wasn't. It was actually very good. After that I watched Hannibal Rising which was awesome! I love the Hannibal movies and it was GREAT. I enjoyed it a lot. I would recommend both of those flicks to anyone.