Ramble

I wish I had my camera today!! I used up all the juice over the weekend, so the camera battery had to charge. Anyway, I met up with my Aunt and my cousin, Deb at the Palazzo where they got a very VERY nice suite for the week. Good lord! It was a pretty amazing room and they got like 4 days comped. WOW! Can't beat that. The view was amazing and it was such a beautiful day too.

We went down to City Center finally! I finally went to City Center. Sheesh! It took me forever. Anyway, the place is pretty amazing as I expected. The machines however were NOT amazing. First off, they didn't have any Cleopatra Keno. Come on! Everyone has Cleo! They had the regular Cleopatra Slots, but no keno. The video keno they did have sucked ass. 25 cents was the cheapest you could play for and I couldn't hit shit.

I think my aunt and cousin did a lot better though.

Tomorrow I'm going to be daddy's little helper again. We are heading out to the amazingly beautiful place in Anthem to do some work. It's supposed to be beautiful out so I'm looking forward to it. Just what the doctor ordered. I wasn't feeling so hot over the weekend. I finally ran out of suboxen and so, I'm completely drug free now. On the one hand, it feels good cause it's an accomplishment. On the other hand, I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the high. Cause I do. Oh well.

I'll dig up some Insanity Tales tomorrow. A super insane thing happened to me on Facebook. Remember the guy from Ohio that I used to live with very briefly?

Click Here to jog your memory.

Well, he friend requested me on facebook. Ugh! The horror! He also friend requested my best friend in the world from back in Maryland (James). I got this really funny message from James stating that Ryan was lucky he didnt go up to Ohio and like kill him or something. He was so indignant - "how dare that crazy loser friend request me?. As I was telling my dad about it, I realized that Ryan friend requested me too. WHATEVER! Does he have a death wish? Seriously! I did some searching online and found that apparently I'm not the only girl he was beating on a regular basis. He has at least one or two domestic violence cases pending in Ohio. Gotta love karma right?

I think this topic deserves a whole new post of it's own. But, for the record, I'd like to state (and I might be wrong), but i see some similarities in Ryan's habit of hitting girls and my habit of using.

It's like, I started off young, very slowly and worked my way up to being a full fledged addict. Even when I stopped using for 11 months, you would think that my tolerance would have gone down and maybe the progression of the disease would have been temporarily halted. But, that wasn't the case. My tolerance never went down at all, I picked up right where I left off, I could never get high enough and I had to keep using more and more. The disease had certainly progressed.

Well, Ryan hit me a handful of times - maybe 3 times from age 16 - 18. Each time he was SO VERY sorry, he cried, he was usually drunk and I thought he was pretty sincere. Well, ten years later, I'm thinking he grew out of his little anger thing, but I was OH SO VERY wrong. He was insane!

He went through my stuff everyday, he was verbally, phsyically and mentally abusive. He put his hands on me every single day for the month that I lived in Ohio. He was really scary. His disease progressed. I use the word "disease" for lack of a better term. I really don't know what to call it. I'm rambling.

Must get sleep...

Goodnight.