What's the definition of "friend"?
Why is the word "friend" in quotes?? That's the question of the day.
Well, it's like this. One day we are friends and the next day I hate him. Days and weeks go by that we are inseparable and then a few days later he is nowhere to be found. He makes me laugh and he makes me cry.
It's a very on / off, hot/cold relationship/friendship.
I haven't the slightest clue where we stand right now. I'm not sure if I even want him in my life.
They say that the definition of "insanity" is repeating the same behavior over and over again and expecting different results. In N.A., they are referring to using drugs. In my life right now it's this "friendship".
He's completely unreliable. I never know if I am actually going to see him when we make plans. He breezes in and out of my life like the wind.
Honestly, I'm baffled. I promised myself I wouldn't waste another second thinking about him. He's already taken up too much space in my head as it is. Part of me wishes I had never met him at all, but at least I found out that I'm capable of having real feelings for someone, cause I was starting to wonder.
So, there ya have it. My crazy definition of "friend".
posted by CarmenSinCity at
Friday, April 23, 2010
8 Comments:
Actually in NA, I think they are talking about all our behaviors, not just our drug ones. I'm always repeating the same mistakes in recovery, which reminds me of how insane I really am. I think relationships are the toughest for us. Hey, I was in Vegas a couple of weeks ago, I hit an NA meeting on Saturday night with Steve F. I think you know him, I saw a pic of him on your blog a long time ago. It sounds from what I can read like you are doing a lot better. Just don't pick up. Hugs, bub
April 23, 2010
>It's a very on off, hot cold relationship
Sounds like he is good in bed but an unreliable and un-trustworthy creep.
April 23, 2010
It is tough to have a friendship when someone is unreliable.
April 23, 2010
Going through the same exact thing and I think I have come to the conclusion it's time to cut him out of my life. but the big question is HOW?!
April 23, 2010
Friends are people you can rely on. They are there to help you celebrate the good times and are there to pick you up during the bad ones. You can get mad at them, but that is only because you sometimes get angry at those closest to you. They are your friends not to gain anything from you, but because they like you. Even if they are not always around, you know they are still your friends because ... they are real friends.
April 23, 2010
the fact that you've made an analogy between your relationship with this person and your drug use answers your own question. He IS your drug right now. You aren't using, so something's gotta give u your high and low.....break away from the relationship until you don't question whether this person is your "friend". Typically, for me, if you have to question it....there are issues and for YOUR well being choose to surround yourself with the more issue free relationships, the ones you can depend on.....love you Carm
April 24, 2010
NicotineQueen asked HOW to cut him out of her life, so please send her a copy of the song Fifty Ways To Leave Your Lover.
By the way this "friend" isn't the one you met at that great establishment noted for the high quality of its clientele, Terribles, is it?
April 24, 2010
Gotcha. I've got one of those right now too... I've started to make myself less available when he wants to hang out to make up for the times he disappears. It appears to be working and he's coming around more.... But we are toxic together, so who knows what will happen.
April 27, 2010
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