Monday, November 14, 2011

Happy Monday

Another Monday morning...

I just cleaned the dining room here at my sober house. That's apparently my chore and it's been the same for about the past three weeks. I don't know when they ever rotate it. There's a pile of dishes in the sink because these lazy fucks never clean up after themselves, but they are looking in the WRONG direction if they think i'm doing their dishes. I do my own every time I eat and that's it.

So, today, I'm very pleased to have a ride to school. If I had to take the bus I would have already had to leave. My friend Luke is coming to pick me up today, but I'm sad cause he's graduating this week so there goes my ride in the morning. I'll still meet him at meetings on the weekend though.

Yesterday I ran into Hilary again. You know, when we were hanging out she had like 5 years clean and now she has 9 years. Um, wow. The last 4 years of my life - down the tubes for the most part. Sad really.


Blogger Bradley said...

Been reading the blog for a fair while now, every time you stop posting for a while I start thinking that you have fallen off the wagon and am sadly mostly right.

Do you know why I keep checking every day though even during those times...because from all the time I've been reading I know you always have the strength to get back on the sober track. It might take someone coming down on you, like your folks or the court, but you are the one that always shows the strength of character to want to make the changes and get sober again and that inspires people.

Don't look at the last 4 years as being a waste, look at them as a learning experience and test run for a remaining life of sobriety. You know you can do it for periods of time, and you know what causes you to go off the rails, so just have to keep a more watchful eye out for the warning signs now, catch them early and beat them. I, and I'm sure a lot of other readers, feel you can control yourself or we'd have given up long ago and stopped checking in here.

Someone (possibly me lol) once said "A true measure of a person is not how many times they fall trying to succeed but in how many times they get back up" have proven over the years you will keep getting up and that is why you will have people there to support you.

November 14, 2011

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

hmm Bradley lets give this one to

“The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall. ”
― Vince Lombardi

.. or maybe even the bible ..

for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity.
Proverbs 24:16

I was pretty sure it was not attributed to Bradley. :).

I agree with him though. People get so caught up with "i wasted all this time" and "omg I am such a waste"... but instead of dwelling on the past you need to keep your mind clear, focus on the future, and how good it is going to be, and how you can be up there one day talking about 5, 10, 20 years sober.. instead of dwelling on the negative focus on the positive and keep good thoughts going..

I have been feeling a lot better lately doing that. I can say "damn, I wasted the last 10 years" or I can say "awesome, I am going to do great things going forward".. one make me feel like crawling back in bed and not doing anything, the other makes me feel like I am accomplishing things and moving forward positively..

November 15, 2011

Blogger Scope18112 said...

Carmen - I don't think I could have said it any better than Bradley and SirFWALGMan. It brought tears to my eyes reading their post because they are writing from the heart. You are special Carmen. I've known you since you were 19. You have a spark about you that has not changed. Seeing you a couple years ago, was like seeing you at 19. You are a lovely lady, and I know you are going to get their this time, and not go backwards ever again. When you feel down, think about us. We're pulling for you, 100%!

November 15, 2011

Blogger JB said...

Great advice from these guys.

Take it!

November 23, 2011


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