Thursday, January 10, 2013

Uphill Battle

I have been so depressed lately and I absolutely hate it.  I've been in bed day after day after day and the only time I get up and leave the house is to go to class or to work.  I haven't even been going to hardly any meetings and that's a VERY tight rope that I'm walking.  I can't allow anything to fuck up my recovery but depression is so debilitating sometimes.   I also haven't been feeling well.  Seriously, it takes every ounce of energy I can muster to get in the shower and put on makeup for work.

Oh well.  I know that it'll pass.  In fact, I think I'm finally starting to feel better.  I got a call today from Salvation Army and they wanted me to come in to update my application because they have a new position that they think I would be perfect for.  I'm so excited!!  I don't know any of the details about the position, but I'm honestly open to anything at this point.  I don't want to get my hopes up to high so I'll just let you guys know more if it comes through.  I did the legwork, I filled out the application and talked to the hiring manager so now it's in their hands.

Then, my dad noticed that my car is leaking oil so I had to take it into the shop this morning and as always, it's going to cost a pretty penny to have it fixed..... $600 to be exact.  Well, it just so happens that I'm getting $500 back from taxes so there goes that check.  Oh well.  Easy come easy go.  My car is 13 years old so I might have to think about getting something newer eventually.

Oh, and the best news is that I'm graduating from Drug Court for sure on January 25th and I moved into the last phase (Phase 4) earlier this week.  I also had my last one on  one with my counselor on Tuesday so finally all this court stuff will be behind me.  It's been a long hard road but I'm so proud of myself for hanging in there.

Anyway, that's all from me today.  GO RAVENS!!!!!


OpenID said...

Congratulations on completing and graduation on the 25th. Nice to be able to finish something and feel good about that. Put non negative thoughts into your head and keep thinking positive thoughts. Keep active and you will feel better. Hang in there.

January 10, 2013

Blogger SirFWALGMan said...

hope you feel better Carmen! Depression sucks and sucks the life out of you. Make sure you talk to someone about it. Get well! Love you!

January 10, 2013

Blogger james5832 said...

Carmen.. Lots of people who never met you are proud of you. Everybody has rough spots and feel down at times. Don't let "it" suck you in. Hang tough. Good Karma is coming your way... Btw, I'm shocked you haven't talked about the Raven's big win over the Colts.

January 10, 2013

Blogger randy tucson said...

I wanna talk about possibly saving some money on your car. $600 is a lot for a oil leak unless many parts have to be removed to gain access to the leaking part. How much oil is the car leaking? Oil spreads out in a circle and can look like a lot. Its like this, pour a teaspoon of water on a counter and it doesn't spread a lot. Pour a teaspoon of cooking oil on a counter and let it sit overnight like your car sits. There will be a huge mess on the counter. The point is that a small amount of dripped oil always looks larger than it is. How much oil do you have to add over a week or month to keep the dipstick indicating completely full? If you are adding less than a quart per month let it go. At the next oil change insure with your own eyes that the oil has the words high mileage on the can. This is easiest at walmart where you select Castrol GTX High Mileage or similiar right off the shelf and bring it to the counter to process paperwork for the oil and filter change. Make sure those idiots use the plastic cans of oil you selected and not a hose that comes down from the ceiling. I hate walmart but this is 1 thing I'll buy there. the math behind not fixing the oil leak. If you add a quart or less of oil per month and oil costs $5 per quart you will spend $60 per year buying additional oil. That is 10 years of driving without paying $600 to repair the leak. Quick math shows that if you have driven 13,500 miles on average for 13 years your car has 175,000 miles on it. More important things will require repair besides an oil leak. Also if you have a 2000 Camry, Accord or similar it is now worth $2K to $3K and decisions must be made concerning how much money you will put into this car. I'm fairly well experienced with such things. Send email if you have questions. I am willing to look at the car myself in an attempt to save you money. Re: your last comments on being bored but not bored enough for sex. You are too tall for me, you are too young for me. You think $100 haircuts are worth $87 more than a $13 haircut. I don't get that. You watch tv, I read in a apartment without a tv by choice. I seriously play poker and make a few horse bets to stay alive with help from the Veterans Administration. PLZ do not approve this comment.

January 10, 2013

Blogger lightning36 said...

Almost done -- congrats! You've come a long way. I hope things continue to go the right direction for you. And, as Waffles wrote, make sure you are talking to someone about the depression.

January 11, 2013


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