Friday, May 30, 2008


Back when I was still living at home in Maryland with my parents my mom finally went out and got the dog of her dreams. She had always wanted a little pomeranian and I don't know why she waited her whole life to get one, but I remember her bringing this little fur ball home on Christmas - he was so tiny and cute. He had red hair and we had always liked the show Melrose Place, so we came up with the name Sydney, because sydney on Melrose Place was really cute and she had red hair and we really liked her.

All my friends were over that day when Sydney came home and we all took turns holding him because he was just so damn cute and loveable.

Through the years I battled with my addictions, but Sydney remained a constant in my parent's life. I bought a house and moved to Crofton, Sydney was still there. I went to rehab, Sydney was still there. I moved to Florida, Sydney was still there. I came out to Vegas and they still had Sydney.

Of course, Sydney battled his own issues. He was like the runt of the litter so he had a lot of problems. He jumped off a picnic table and broke his leg, my parents paid for the surgery and his poor little leg never healed correctly so he wobbled around with a limp because even if they would have had his leg re-broken, there was no guarantee it would have healed properly and they didn't want to put him through that pain. He battled cancer and lost an eye, but he still made it through. He had to have a major surgery on his stomach to fix some internal issues and he made it through. He had asmtha, he had skin problems, but he was a fighter and through it all he was a really happy dog.

So, last week my parents went to North Carolina and sometimes they would take Sydney with them on trips, but he would get really upset and start freaking out whenever he left the house and he didn't really like being in the car, so they decided it would be easier on him if he stayed at home and my Uncle came for the week to take care of him.

I got this call late Saturday night that something happened to Sydney and my parents had to leave North Carolina and drive back home....

Sydney was outside doing his business when two big neighborhood dogs ferociously attacked him. He had no chance. The poor thing was rushed to the hospital with broken bones and ribs and I think a punctured lung. My parents had to make the really painful decision to put him down. This is how his life ends? After all the years and all the surgeries and all of the health issues he had - his life ends because he was attacked by two big dogs????? What the hell? It's such a horrible fucked up way to die. It just really sucks.

Little Sydney was such a fighter and such a happy dog and my parents took such good care of him. I don't know that many people would have shelled out the money that they did for all of the surgeries and all of the trips to the vets and all of the special shampoos and lotions and pills he needed for his health issues, but my parents loved him so much - he was literally their baby and they would do anything for him just like they would do anything for me.

I know when my parents move out here to Vegas they will get another cute little fluffball doggy and hopefully it'll be a really healthy one and it will live a long time - but we'll never forget Sydney.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Thursday gossip

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz finally confirmed that they are having a baby. Duh! Everyone knew it and it's nice to get a confirmation. Obviously Poppa Joe PUSHED for the two lovebirds to hurry up and get married so that the baby wouldn't be born out of wedlock. What century are we living in again????? How long do you give these two? I say three years tops!

In much much bigger news - Hollywood's hottest playboy is SINGLE again!

Yes - that's right - after almost a year together, George Clooney and Sara Larson have split and she moved out of his house. I am honestly amazed that they were together that long! I wonder if she'll be heading back to Vegas to resume waiting tables - ha ha - probably not.

She's a really cute girl, I bet she'll hook up with another rich guy pretty quickly.

All is right with the world when George Clooney is single again!


In sex and the city movie news - I heard from several pretty reliable sources that boom microphones can be seen in a few scenes throughout the movie. That's craziness right????? Did they seriously not catch that when they were doing editing?? So, be on the lookout this weekend for tacky microphones in the movie.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Hump Day

Last night I played in the Skillz blogger tourney. The game was Pot-Limit Hold-Em and after about an hour and a half I decided I was bored and wanted to watch t.v. This is why I'm better off playing at the casino instead of online. Boredom usually always sets in when I'm playing on the computer and I start going all-in on stupid hands because I'm totally impatient. Something about playing at the casino, with real money in front of me and NO T.V. to focus on works better for me.

Anyway, Weak Player stepped in and played for like another hour or two and played for me while I watched two episodes of CSI that I had on DVR.

I'm totally caught up on Dexter and obviously Dancing with the Stars is over, so I've decided to get Weeds on Netflix. Does anyone watch that show? I heard it's pretty good so I hope I like it. Something about a drug dealing housewife appeals to me!!

Who here is super excited for the Sex and the City movie this weekend????? I know the movie isn't getting the best reviews - but so what? I think it'll be great - I can't wait to see it!!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Back to the Grind

This weekend went by FAST like always. I went to the gym a few times, got my nails done, cleaned the house, spent $200 at Target - ugh! I definitely didn't plan on spending that much. I went in to get new sheets for my bed and I walked out with 2 new pillows, a new comforter, cereal, hangers, workout clothes - that place is addictive!!!! I can never just walk in and spend ten dollars and leave.

My new gym has zumba classes! I took one Saturday morning. Has anyone besides me ever done zumba? It's like salsa, latin, hip hop and aerobics all in one. I love it. I'm totally out of shape, but I made it through the one hour class - barely! I had to keep switching from high impact to low impact to catch my breath. I took a lot of water breaks too.

Well, I gotta run - traffic is probably going to suck today!

At least it's not Monday though :)

Monday, May 26, 2008

2008 WSOP Approaching

The 2008 World Series of Poker is fast approaching, and players everywhere are trying to prepare for the big event. There are a number of ways you can get in on the World Series of Poker action as it is gearing up.

Harrah’s, the sponsor of the WSOP, has a website dedicated to the World Series, Here you can find out the latest updates about the event, the schedule for all the WSOP 2008 events, and information about the WSOP Circuit events as well.

WSOP Satellites

There are a great many Internet poker sites offering a chance to win your way into the main event of the World Series of Poker through satellites. The satellite systems often allow players to win their way in for free or for only a few dollars. If you are a U.S. player, your options may be more limited, but there are still plenty of sites with WSOP packages that you can take advantage of.

WSOP Circuit Events

Each month, the WSOP runs a tournament series in a different city. These events are great warm-ups for the World Series of Poker. Each one culminates in a main event that offers a substantial prize pool and a World Series of Poker championship ring. These events are for pros as well as amateurs -- Chris Ferguson has already won three circuit events in the four years of the tournament’s existence. The circuit events will be running right up until the actual World Series of Poker, so there’s plenty of time to try your hand at one before the cards come out at the Rio in June.

Friday, May 23, 2008

I love Fridays!

Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job?

My boss is taking us all out for lunch today to kick off summer - we are going to this new restaurant called Tommy Bahama in the new Town Center shopping center on the Strip - good times!!

Odd News - I just love stupid people...

WACO, Texas - A man accused of calling 911 15 times in a row because he was tired of waiting for a cab was arrested early Tuesday, police said.

Each time Kevin Lewis Waits called, the emergency dispatcher told the man he had to call a taxi service and that police could not help him, said Waco police officer Steve Anderson.

Police eventually went to the apartment complex and found a cab waiting for Waits, who was also there but did not have the $26 taxi fee, Anderson said. Waits, 25, was trying to get to a house in town, the Waco Tribune-Herald reported in its Tuesday online edition.

Waits, of nearby Hillsboro, was arrested after being taken to the hospital because he told an officer that he had used methamphetamine, Anderson said. Waits remained in custody Tuesday afternoon awaiting bond on charges of harassment and theft of service, according to the McLennan County Jail.


WELLINGTON (Reuters) - A New Zealand man had a novel idea when he found himself in a queue at a service station counter with no money, could he pay with marijuana instead?

Unfortunately he didn't get a chance to discover whether the attendant would accept his offer, as the person behind him in the queue was a police officer, the Dominion Post newspaper reported.

The man's attempt to buy two packets of M&Ms and a packet of potato chips to satisfy his "munchies" was caught short when he was arrested.

He must have been hungry, as he failed to notice the police patrol car sitting on the station forecourt being filled with petrol, the paper reported.

The 28-year old mechanic from the small North Island town of Carterton pleaded guilty to possessing cannabis in the Masterton District Court and was remanded for sentencing.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Thursday Stuff

The new gym is amazing!!!!! I went over after work last night and signed up. There was no no fee to join (ladies join free right now), I got a free month, so I don't have to pay until July and it's the nicest gym I have ever belonged to.

It's two levels, they have three dance/aerobics rooms, they have awessome classes like kickboxing, zumba, hip hop and all the stuff I love! They have two pools, racquetball, sauna, 77 treadmills, about 60 ellipticals and a whole slew of other stuff. All of the cardio equipment have TV's and ipod docking stations built into them. They have a track that goes around the whole top floor and it's all windows so you have an awesome view of the mountains and the strip!

So, I'm very pleased with the new gym and I'm super excited about working out again.

Memorial Day weekend is upon us! I'm so excited to have a 3 day weekend. Is anyone going to be here in Vegas?? As of right now, I don't have anything planned. I might go to the casino and play some poker. It's been a while.

I might even go to one of the pools at the casinos, but I don't really feel bathing suit ready.

Oh, and just for the record, I'm always collecting casino keys (to use at the pool), so if anyone comes to town and wants to give me their room key when they check out, I'd be forever grateful!!

I've never been to the Wynn Pool, The Palazzo, The Mirage, Monte Carlo, New York New York and Green Valley Ranch. But, I'll take any keys that you are willing to part with because they are constantly changing them and the ones I have are probably all outdated.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Yay!!!!!!!!!! Kristi won!!!! I can't believe I stayed up until 11 p.m. to watch the Finals of Dancing with the Stars when I could have just went online and read the news flash. ha ha I just had to see it for my own eyes though!

I seriously have nothing going on in my life right now, that's why all of my blog posts have been about T.V. shows. I'm so lame.

The most interesting thing I have to say is that the Las Vegas Athletic Club right next to my house FINALLY opened yesterday and I decided that when I get off work tomorrow I'm going straight over there and joining. I have been feeling really annoyed with people in general, especially at my meetings and I realize that when people get on my nerves it's because something is wrong with me. I'm feeling irritable and discontent and I need to do something positive for me. Spending 6 nights a week in meetings is just boring the living shit out of me. So, I'm shaking things up, joining the gym, getting fit and no doubt I'll feel better about myself and in turn I'll be a happier person. I'm always feeling my best when I'm going to the gym.

Anyway, we hit 108 degrees yesterday, we broke a record for May 19th. It's not usually that hot here in May.

Heading to bed now - goodnight!

Monday, May 19, 2008

Get your votes in

I just finished watching the Dancing with the Stars Finals and I have to say that Kristi Yamaguci and Mark Ballas totally fucking nailed it. They were awesome. Now I'm thinking I might want to vote for Kristi instead of Cristian. Well, I'll be happy no matter who wins I guess.

What I liked about Kristi's freestyle is that it was action packed, had HIGH difficulty and was super fun. She is truly the queen of the dance floor.

Kristi's Freestyle...

Jason and Edyta did what they do best - they flaunted their FABULOUS bodies and they wowed us with amazing lifts - they had a really cute freestyle.

Jason's Freestyle...

Cheryl worked really hard to put together a latin dance, it showcased Christian's hip action and allowed him to do one arm lifts. He's awesome for working through the pain and I think he's great!

Christian's Freestyle...

This was the true deciding factor - all three couples participated in a group cha cha cha and Kristi really shined. They all did a fantastic job though...

Over the weekend we all went to my sponsor's house on Saturday and we shared about what our childhood was like from 0 - 10 years and just like I anticipated, my life was normal and healthy and happy. I was the only one that had a great childhood. Everyone else shared stories of abuse and neglect and families with alcoholism and drug addiction running all through it. It makes me wonder how I got so fucked up coming from such a good family? I dunno. Whatever. I guess more will be revealed.

The softball team is definitely a go. In fact, the guy putting the team together bought me a pink glove over the weekend and he took it home to break it in for me. I guess they slather vaseline all over the glove and then they put it in the oven - crazy! Who would have thought it? I seriously don't know a damn thing about playing softball. I'm probably going to be the catcher. I hope I don't get a black eye or anything.

You still have a couple of hours to vote online - so hurry up!

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Finals Tonight!

Okay Kids - quick reminder that tonight is the Finals of Dancing with the Stars. I am throwing all of my support and votes to Christian De La Feunte and Cheryl Burke. The reasons are simple...

I feel that Cristian is the most improved. He has REALLY stepped up his game and he has a broken arm people! The last few weeks he's had to overcome a painful injury that still needs surgery and you can't even tell when you are watching the dances. That shows how much he wants to win and it shows how talented Cheryl is with her choreography.

Plus - he's HOT! - sorry - I had to thow that in there. See?

Anyway, the three couples that are left are truly the best couples, so tonight promises to be a really awesome show!

Over the weekend (yesterday) I went to the Women's Spiritual Breakfast at this country club in Henderson. It was pretty fun. The food wasn't that great but the company was good and so were the speakers. I guess that's the most important thing. You know the person is a good speaker if they can make me cry and I did - so that was some pretty powerful stuff because I rarely ever cry.

These are the girls in my sponsorship family...

Me and Jen rode together - she just got her first car!!

I love her! She's like the first girl that I met in N.A. and became friends with when I moved here. Even when I didn't stay clean and she did, she kept calling me and letting me though that she was still my friend and that was awesome. And then when I was ready to get clean again, she was the first person I called and now we have the same sponsor.

Anyway, I had a good weekend and I hope everyone else did too. I have to head to work now!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Another Product Review

Again, let me state for the record that this is NOT a paid advertisement. Someone sent me some Snapple Antioxidant Flavored Waters and I said I'd check them out and let people know what I thought.

Snapple put out these waters in all kinds of fun flavors. I really liked the Tropical Mango and the Orange Starfruit. They went down smooth and they not only quenched my thirst, but they were very tasty.

The waters contain Vitamins A, E, C and plenty of electrolytes to protect the body and to give you lots of energy. I will definitely stock up on Snapple Antioxidant Waters the next time I go to the store.

Friday, May 16, 2008

Happy Friday!

Yay - It's Friday!!!!!

Normally I weigh a certain amount. I'm pretty used to weighing that amount, I wear a size 4 in jeans and pants and that works for me. I maintain this weight by eating half of what is on my plate. I eat until I'm not hungy, but I don't stuff myself. I find that I'm a lot more productive and energetic when I eat smaller portions.

However, in the past few weeks my eating habits have gotten out of control. I'm eating all day and I'm eating chips and peanuts and pretzels and chocolate and I'm eating everything on my plate at lunch and dinner. Not surprisingly I picked up a few pounds and my jeans are very tight and I hate that.

So, instead of doing some big atkins or south beach diet I'm trying to just doing portion control. I'm drinking tons of water, I cut all soda out of my diet. I'm eating fruit during the day. At lunch I might get a hamburger, but no fries or a chicken sandwich, but no chips. I've been doing this for about a week now. I feel better, but I havent tried the jeans on yet - that will be the true test.

What are your favorite weight loss tricks??

I'm also really loving this Mary Kay stuff. I am surprised at how far they've come from ten years ago when I tried it.

Oh, and BRAVO to America's Next Top Model for finally picking a plus sized model to win! I was really happy to see that. I love how they consider a girl that wears a size 10 to be plus sized. I think that's healthy size. Sheesh!

Whitney wins...

Happy Friday!

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Okay, so The Ryan Saga put me way behind on my normal blogging - but I'm glad I got to tell my story - it was nice to get it off my chest and speak freely about my past. I haven't finished a 4th step yet, so my sponsor doesn't even know about all of that stuff. Of course, I'm sure she's seen and done much worse so whatever.

Last weekend the San Genaro Festival was in town - every year it comes to Las Vegas and I'm like "yeah, I wanna go to that" - but every year it comes and it goes and I never go there. This year all of my friends were going on Friday night after the meeting, so I went with them and it was such a blast. First off, I didn't know they had a bunch of rides. I thought it was just a lot of food and walking around. Imagine my JOY and SURPRISE and UTTER HAPPINESS when I saw The Zipper, that giant roller coaster that goes around in circles and stays upside down as you are suspended in the air, a funhouse, a pirate ship thing, bumper cars, a ferris wheel, and that thing that goes around in circles and the floor drops and you are stuck to the side. And a bunch of other rides. They even had a skydiving thing that cost like $25 per person. I wanted to do that - but I didn't feel like spending the money. But, I got on everything else.

Anyway, you get the idea, I haven't that much fun in a really long time. I got the on the zipper with my friend Charles and he was screaming like a little girl, holding my hand and freaking out and I just laughed for 5 minutes straight. My stomach hurt when I get off because I was laughing so freaking hard. I'm a huge fan of thrill rides. I want to go to the stratosphere or circus circus this weekend and get on some more rides.

Anyway, I used to go to the Italian Festival every year in Baltimore with my family and it was always at the Inner Harbor and they never had any rides. So, anyway, the San Genaro is better and I will go every year no matter what.

I also played in a Texas Hold Em home game at my friend Phil's house Saturday night and I took 3rd place, so I got some money which was good.

Last night I went to a meeting with my friend Jennifer, it was downtown, sort of in the ghetto - anyone familiar with D Street and Madison? It's pretty nasty, but the meeting was great. Long though. It's a 2 hour meeting and it's really real. Like, most of the meetings I go to are in nice areas and people are driving BMW's and Mercedes and they live in big houses and they sometimes take that shit for granted. So, when I go to a rougher area and see people struggling to get one day clean and see them walk across the street the homeless shelter - well, it puts things in perspective.

My butt was numb after the meeting though - 2 hours is WAY TOO LONG for me to sit still.

Finally Marissa went home on Dancing with the Stars. I am throwing all of my support to Christian De La Fuente and Cheryl Burke. Jason Taylor is too stiff during the latin dances and Kristi has too much experience dancing. I mean, dancing on ice is a form of dancing and she's like a ringer.

But, honestly, all three couples are good and I'm glad to see the best three in the finals and I won't be mad if any of them win.

Kristi's Jive...

Christian's Samba...

Keep in mind - Christian has a messed up arm and you can't even tell - pretty amazing.

Jason's Pasa Doble...

Lots of season finale's this week. I have Medium on my DVR but I haven't watched it yet. I have The Hills season finale to watch and of course tonight is the Office season finale. I can't wait to watch it!!!!! I think Jim is definitely going to propose to Pam.

Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Ryan Saga Part VI

I jumped out of Ryan's car and ran over to mine and inspected the situation. All 4 of my tires were completely flat, they had obviously been slashed and just about all of my windows were busted out of my car. I started crying. Now what in the hell was I going to do??? Why didn't I have my dad drive me to Ohio like originally planned??? Not only was my car ruined, but so were all of my clothes, because Ryan had taken everything out of the house and threw it in my car and then he busted all of my windows and then it snowed!!!! Have you ever seen frozen clothes? Yeah, I hadn't either until that day. Not to mention my stereo, my speakers and everything else in the car. Completely ruined.

I quickly assessed the situation. I could either start fighting with Ryan like I had done so many times before, but I already knew what the outcome would be. I'd end up with more bruises, possibly a broken limb and as always he would win, or I could be smart, pretend that I had come to some acceptance, sit down, relax and wait until an opportunity presented itself.

So, an hour or two went by, we were watching T.V. and Ryan got up to use the bathroom. I quickly ran to the neighbor's house, banged on the door, asked them to call 911 and they did. When Ryan came outside looking for me, I was standing outside with the phone in hand and I told him that the police were on the way. He quickly fled the scene.

Once the police arrived, I found out that he already had a warrant out for his arrest. I explained my situation to them and they called a tow truck and then, they sat at the house and waited with me for TWO HOURS until the tow truck arrived, until my car was properly hitched to the bed and until I was safely inside the truck with the driver. The police were concerned about my safety and so was I. I can say this was truly the best experience I've ever had dealing with the cops.

We drove over to Goodyear and I sat with my car for about 4 more hours. The glass people came and replaced all of my windows and I also got 4 new tires on my car. Of course, by this time it was going on like 7 p.m. and now it was starting to snow - HARD! So, I got a hotel room for the night, went to bed and then got up the next morning and drove home.

I wish I had a really inspiring tale about pressing charges and him ending up in jail. But that wasn't the case. I just came back to Maryland and tried to pretend that this stuff never happened. I partied harder than ever, I abused my body, I spiraled deeper and deeper out of control and I ended up completely and utterly alone sitting in a room by myself wondering how I had lost everything.

I went to Rehab a few months later and then I moved to Florida to start fresh - AGAIN. I changed my address, changed my phone number, changed my friends, changed my life and I never saw Ryan again.

A few months ago when I joined myspace, within about 5 days, Ryan found me, sent me and e-mail and said "I found you". I quickly made my profile private and I haven't heard from him since.

I just hope that karma steps in and gives Ryan a dose of his own medicine.

Monday, May 12, 2008

The Ryan Saga Part V

Part V...

Before I even made it back to Maryland, Ryan was on the phone talking shit about me to my parents. I guess he wanted to put as much doubt in my parent's heads as possible to try and make himself look better. Surely he figured that I wasn't going to lie for him anymore and he didn't want my parents to know that he was an abusive boyfriend. He was basically trying to save face.

I made it back to Maryland in one piece and it felt great to be back in my parent's house. Ryan was calling me non-stop and he was being nice. I thought that was pretty odd because I probably made him look really stupid in front of his friends. But, for whatever reason instead of being an asshole, he was actually pretty understanding. He said that he realized I wasn't happy with him in Ohio and he said that he wouldn't start any trouble when I went back up there to get my car.

My dad was going to drive me to Ohio to get my car, but after talking to Ryan for two weeks without incident, I figured I'd be okay to get the car by myself. My dad had to work and stuff and I didn't want him to have to take the long and boring drive up there when I could just as easily do it myself.

We talked on the phone for a week or two and we finally came up with a plan for me to come get my car. I was going to take a Greyhound bus from Baltimore to Dayton and Ryan would pick me up a the bus station. I would ride back to his house, pack my stuff and hit the road. I wasn't planning on staying the night and I just wanted this last trip up there to be as peaceful and easy as possible. Ryan agreed. He was being so mature. I was surprised, but I just figured that he accepted the fact
that we weren't meant to be together and he was hoping (like me) that we could just get along.

So, I got the bus ticket, packed a little travel bag and headed to Ohio. I don't remember how long it took to get there, but I do remember that it took a hell of a lot longer to get there by bus than it did to drive by car.

I finally arrived and Ryan was at the bus station waiting for me. I breathed a sigh of relief. I was a little worried that he might leave me stranded after what I did to him in Cincinatti, but he didn't play it like that. Instead, he was nice, said he was glad to see me, and then we hopped in his car and he drove to his grandmother's house. I'm like "what are we doing here?" and he's like "oh, I just need to stop here real quick". So, we got into his grandparent's house and he's just wasting time, he's messing around, hanging out, doing nothing. I'm like "Ryan - we need to go - I want to get back on the road before it's dark" and he's still puttering around. I couldn't figure out why he was wasting all this time when I needed to get my stuff packed and go home!

Finally we headed over to his house and we pull up in front of the house. There, right before my eyes is my car - all 4 tires are slashed and all of my windows are busted out. I started crying and grabbed my phone out of my bag - he snatched it from me, threw it out the window and said "Your not going anywhere - you have no transportation - I guess you are stuck here with me".

To be continued...

Sunday, May 11, 2008

The Ryan Saga Part IV

Part IV...

Ryan was pretty nice for a couple of days after the whole dog biting incident, I think he could tell that I was really serious about leaving, so he planned a weekend away for us. He invited another couple and the plan was to leave on Friday and drive to Cincinnati, get a hotel room and then head out to some bars, kick back and have some fun.

I was hoping that since another couple was coming with us, maybe Ryan would be on his best behavior and we could have a nice weekend. His friends drove up there, so we both left our cars at home and the drive was pretty chill. Of course we packed a cooler full of beers, so by the time we arrived at our destination we were all feeling pretty good.

I think I was the only one with a working credit card, so I put both rooms in my name and used my credit card and everybody just paid me in cash. We called a taxi and told him to take us to where the action is - so he did. We ended up at Bar Cincinatti. I was very familiar with the place because I used to hang in Bar Baltimore all the time and the set up was pretty similar.

I'll never forget, we got there and within about 20 minutes Ryan was starting shit with me about some guy that was staring at me from across the bar. As usual, it was a big blowout and somehow this guy staring at me, was my fault. He was screaming at me in the middle of the bar, a crowd was starting to form and I was mortified.

Eventually I went to the bathroom, of course Ryan escorted me there because god knows I wasn't allowed to be out of his site. But, somehow we got separated. It was crazy busy in the bar and I lost Ryan for a minute. I took about two seconds to think about it and then I just bolted out of the front door. I guess the beers finally gave me some courage because I just couldn't take him for one more minute. I had to get out of there.

There was a long line of taxi's waiting outside to take drunk club hoppers home so I jumped in the first one I saw, told the cabbie where I needed to go and he drove me back to the hotel. I figured I had about 10 minutes tops before Ryan realized I was gone. Although I was hoping he'd check the streets and some other bars before he figured out that I went back to the hotel. So, I had to hurry!! I ran up the steps as fast as I could - I was FREE almost! I opened the door to my room, ran in as fast as I could, grabbed my suitcase, threw in my clothes and ran out the door. The cabbie met me at the office, put my suitcase in the trunk and I promptly checked out of both rooms! There was no way I was going to keep those rooms in my name because I knew that Ryan and his friends would definitely fuck up the rooms and I'd have to pay for it. I turned in my key, hopped in the cab and had him take me to a different hotel. I can't remember why, but we went into Kentucky and I got a room there. Maybe I thought I'd be safer in a different state (even though it was just across the bridge).

So, I got my new room in my new hotel, called my parents and told them I was coming home, booked a ticket for the next day on US Air and went to sleep a happy girl. I was finally FREE.

Of course, there was still one little problem. My car was still in Dayton, Ohio along with all of my clothes and there was no way I could take a cab all the way to Dayton. So, I said "Fuck It" - I'll get the car and the clothes later.

The next day, I woke up, got ready, called a cab to take me to the airport and I headed back to Maryland.

To Be Continued...

Not a paid advertisement

Schick Quattro for Women...

Let me just state that I didn't get paid for this. One of the cool things about having a blog is that every once in a while people send me free stuff, they ask me to test it out and let people know what I think of it.

So, this razor was sent to me, and I used it all week. When I first opened it and put it in my shower, I noticed that it was very heavy. I'm used to using a much lighter razor, but I got used to it after a day or two. This razor is easy to use, has a sleek metal handle with a rubber grip making it very easy to utilize, and it even came with a shower hanger so I didn't have to clutter up the shelves in my shower.

The best part is that my legs were silky smooth when I got out of the shower and I could easily skip the next day of shaving and my legs still felt great.

So, I would definitely recommend this razor for all of the ladies out there, if you are looking for a new razor, check out the Schick Quattro for women.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Part Three of the Ryan Saga

Part III...

After packing up my car, I drove to Atlantic City where Ryan and I spent the weekend with my parents. From A.C. my parents of course went back to Maryland and I headed to Ohio to begin my new life.

I remember before we even left Atlantic City we had a big ass fight and although he didn't touch me, I remember thinking to myself "what have I gotten myself into"? I quickly dismissed the thought and reminded myself that this was a brand new start and that things were going to be different this time around.

Once we arrived at his house but before I even had my bags unpacked, Ryan insisted on searching my luggage because he wanted to make sure that I hadn't smuggled anything in the house that he didn't think belonged. This was the first time he ever searched through my stuff, but it definitely wasn't the last. In fact, it became an every day thing. I thought the first time would be the last considering I didn't know a single soul in Ohio. What did he think I was going to have?

We went out to the bars a lot and without fail he always found a reason to start an argument. Mostly he was accusing me of looking at other guys and somehow it was my fault when other guys looked at me. Even if I stayed by his side the whole night and I tried as hard as possible not to look at other guys and not to draw attention to myself - he'd still find a reason to fight with me.

The first time our fighting turned physical I started packing my bags and I threatened to go home. He in turn gave me the same old song and dance, that he was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. But, he also reminded me that I had nowhere to go, that I'd be nowhere without him, that I'd end up living in my parent's basement and that I was nothing but a loser, junky, washed up drug addict. I gave it another shot.

He systematically broke down what little pride and self esteem I had left until I really started to believe that I was a big loser and that I would never amount to anything.

Of course there were good days, but they were farther and farther apart and the bad days were much more frequent.

One night we started fighting again and once again I tried to leave. I was really done this time. I decided I was leaving and there was nothing he could say to make me stay. I started packing my suitcase, he promptly picked it up and threw it against the wall, all of my clothes fell out and then he grabbed me by the throat and pinned me up against the wall. While he was choking me, I felt a huge, fierce, burning sensation run through my leg. I started screaming and fell on the floor. His Rottweiler (dog's best friend) had bitten me in the leg. He was protecting his master even though I was the one getting my ass beat. He hardly needed protection from me.

I was in so much pain. I laid on the floor and cried and cried. I took some advil for the pain, there was no way I was going to be able to make the 8 hour trek back to Maryland driving an Eclipse with a stick shift with my leg throbbing, so I laid down and went to sleep but I knew I wasn't going to be staying in Ohio for much longer.

To be continued...

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Part Two of the Ryan Saga

Part II...

So, Ryan and I went through this crazy up and down relationship for probably about 2 years. I'd get calls from him in the middle of the night when I was home sleeping. I remember one night during the week I think it was a Tuesday, and I got this call at 2 in the morning from him. I guess he was at a party or something and the cops came and everyone fled. He was on foot and he got separated from his other friend and was hiding in the bushes for a while until he finally found a phone booth and called me. Of course I got up out of bed, picked his ass up, took him home and then went back to bed for about an hour or so and then the alarm went off and I had to go to work. This kind of stuff was commonplace. Happened all the time and I loved it. He was still as exciting as ever. Never a dull moment.

So, eventually Ryan's mom decided to move back to Ohio and he didn't have a job or a place to live in Maryland, so he moved to Ohio with her. We were probably around 20 years old when he moved away.

I was so sad. Looking back though, it was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. We kept in touch for a while. Of course our phone bills were sky high and I'd make the 7 hour drive on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and through Ohio to Dayton to see him whenever I had a long weekend or when I could take vacation from work. But as all long distance relationships usually fade - ours did too.

Of course every couple of months I'd get a drunken call in the middle of the night from him professing his love to me, but that was about it.

Somehow I managed to keep my job through all of this craziness and when I was around 27 years old I finally bought my own house in Crofton, Maryland. It was a townhouse sort of - they are actually called piggyback houses and it was brand new. I got to pick out all of the options for the counters and the carpet and the flooring etc. Good times.

Unfortunately, my drug use had escalated from just using LSD and drinking here and there to drinking a lot thoughout the week, taking lots of exstacy pills and cocaine on the weekends and eventually during the week too. Of course living that lifestyle can only happen for so long and - well - let's just say the party finally ended when I was about 30. I sold my house and decided it was time to make a brand new start.

As luck would have it - Ryan had gotten my new number and we were still talking here and there. I started driving to Ohio again to see him and he seemed like he had really changed. He had a son, he had a job, he bought a house, he owned his own car, he had finally cleaned up.

We got along famously now that we had both grown up a little. Gone were the petty resentments, he actually had money to take me out to dinner and best of all, he wasn't hitting me anymore. Maybe I could give this another shot? I mean, things weren't working in Maryland for me anymore - I was faced with a decision. Either move into my parent's basement and keep on partying with the Baltimore Crew, or make a change and move to Ohio to be with Ryan and start fresh.

So, I packed up my car, most of the stuff from my house went into storage and I moved to Ohio when I was 30 years old - a whole decade after I met Ryan.

To be continued...

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Dancing With The Stars Week 8

So, I just got finished watching Dancing With The Stars...

This is my brief rundown...

- I'm over Marissa - she's the weakest at this point - she needs to go home. I wasn't impressed by either of her dances.

- Jason Taylor rocks on the Ballroom dances and does not do well on the latin dances. He's got great posture and great lines for the ballroom - but he doesn't know how to let loose on the latin numbers. He looks awkward shaking those hips.

- Mario is awesome on the latin dances and he struggles with the ballroom - however - he totally turned it around tonight and I loved his ballroom number. Impressive!
He takes constructive criticism and learns from it.

- Kristi didn't do well this week - she needs to step it up if she wants to win.

- Christian and Cheryl REALLY stepped it up this week - it's amazing the routines that she choreographed for him with a broken arm. Truly amazing. I couldn't even tell that he had a bad arm.

My favorite dances this week were

Jason and Edyta's Tango...

Christian and Cheryl's Mambo...

Mario and Karina's jive...

Kristi and Mark's Quick Step...

Update - it's unfortunate that Mario was sent packing - I thought he was really improving - when in the hell are they going to send Marissa home? Good lord!!!!!

A story from the pages of my life - The Ryan Saga Part I

When I was about eighteen years old, I had graduated from high school, I was working for the government and in my spare time I'd hangout a lot at the Annapolis Docks at night and on the weekends. It was something fun to do because a lot of kids our age hung out down there, we were too young to get into nightclubs and I wasn't crazy about the people I went to high school with, so I met a whole new crew down there.

One night we all jumped into the cars and headed to a party in Crofton. That's where I met Ryan. He was fun and exciting - he wore a big gold chain around his neck, he was white but he pretended he was black - he was a yo boy - he wore baggy jeans, kept his hair cut really short and listened to like Snoop dog, Biggy, 2 Live Crew and all the late eighties early nineties rap.

Anyway, I was instantly in love - or maybe it was infatuation - now when I look back it was pure insanity. He had a girlfriend, but her parents hated him and she wasn't allowed to see him - she was still in high school. He didn't have a car, so I let him drive mine all the time. He didn't have a job - that should have been a red flag and after a few weeks of hanging out - he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend Stephanie and I believe him because he was with me all the time.

He had a whole crew of friends - he knew everyone and I got to know everyone and there was always something to do. Back then hotel parties were popular because we all lived with our parents. So, we would take turns renting rooms at crappy hotels and throw big ass parties. I don't even remember how we got the alcohol - but we always had it.

Up until this time I had never touched a drug in my life - but it was with this group of people that I was introduced to acid - wow - talk about a long high. That stuff lasted forever.

Anyway, one day I'm talking to my friend Oscar on the phone - he went to a different high school then I did and he knew about my new boyfriend Ryan. We talked about our weekends and he recalled that his friend Stephanie also has a boyfriend named Ryan and she went to Annapolis High School. We put two and two together and realized that it was the same Ryan!!!! He was going to see Stephanie during the day when I was at work and then he was hanging out with me after work. It worked out great for him because she couldn't see him that often anyway because of her parents! I got her phone number from him and called her! That sneaky bastard even took my car to go see her!

Her and I talked for a while comparing dates and times and places - basically every single day that I wasn't with him - he was with her. This had been going on for 6 months!

So, I hopped in the car, picked her up, and we drove to the basketball courts to confront him. She laid the front seat back and hid, and then when he opened the passenger door, she popped up and we both started pounding him with questions and insults and we made him choose in front of both of us.

He chose me. He told her he was in love with me and that he was done with her. Score one for the home team.

But, he wasn't done with her - it was a lie - he still kept calling her - he still went behind my back to see her - being the insecure stalker I was , I even found them at a hotel together - I promptly drove down there and smacked the shit out of him and broke up with him for the fifteenth time.

Our relationship grew to a whole new dysfunctional level. One time we got in a big fight at my friend James' house, he picked me up, threw me on the ground and started kicking me. Hard. He threw my keys at me and gave me a black eye. We fought in my parent's house - they had brand new white carpet, he punched me in the nose and broke it. Both of my eyes instantly turned black and my nose bled for about 2 hours. I didn't tell anyone the truth. I lied to cover up for him and said that he accidentally elbowed me when we were wrestling.

To be continued...

Monday, May 05, 2008


Hmmmmm - interesting story coming out of Wisconsin this morning...

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. -- A Sheboygan woman is accused of shooting her 8-year-old daughter in the thigh with a BB gun to win a $1 bet with her boyfriend.

Angelique Vandeburg is charged with one felony count of intentional child abuse. She made an initial court appearance yesterday and was released on a $5,000 signature bond.

According to the criminal complaint, the girl told police the shot hurt so much that she couldn't walk.

She told prosecutors her mother and the mother's boyfriend had been drinking heavily before the boyfriend offered Vandeburg $1 and handed her the gun.

The complaint quotes the mother as telling police the girl was lying to get her in trouble. She said the girl suffered the injury three weeks earlier when she fell from her bike.

Wow - people never cease to amaze me.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Random Stuff

My Thoughts For the Day...

- On Fridays at work we have donuts. There is this one super sweet icing filled donut that I love and it's dipped in powdered sugar. The girl that brings the donuts pulls that donut out of the desk and puts it on my desk so that I get it before anyone else has a chance to snatch it out of the box. Does it get any better than that????

- They still haven't given up on that softball idea. If I play, it will be every Friday. I was thinking I'd show up, wear a cute uniform, and sit on the bench and cheer the team on and maybe bat once in a while. But, oooooh no - apparently there has to be 5 girls on the field every single inning!!!! So far there are 5 girls on the team - that means I have to play every single inning - lord help us.

The guy putting together the team was nice enough to find these girly softball accessories for me...

- A friend of mine started selling Mary Kay and I thought I'd contribute to her new business, so I bought the whole facial package (cost about $100.00) - so, in turn, I was invited to a party they are having next week where we get free makeup. They put out a big table full of mary kay products and we have 5 seconds to grab as much stuff as we can!!!! Good times!!

- Did anyone get their IRS Stimulus Rebate yet?????? Supposedly they started making deposits on Monday of this week, but I haven't met anyone who actually got the money back yet.

- It's Friday

- It's Payday

- Life is Good!!!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

FHM's Top 100

Last week FHM came out with their list of the 100 Sexiest Women for 2008 - it's a pretty long list obviously, so I'll just point out the highlights...

The Top Ten

10. Kate Beckinsale - Played in Pearl Harbor, Serendipity and Vacancy. I like her - she's not over the top hot, but she's very naturally attractive and a decent actress.

9. Blake Lively - Known for her role on Gossip Girl - it's nice to see a new face on this list!

8. Tricia Helfer - never heard of her until today - but apparently she's in Battlestar Galactica

7. Hilary Duff - really? Number 7? She beat out Gisele Bundchen and Adriana Lima???? I'm not buying it. She's cute - but I wouldn't put her as the 7th most sexiest girl in the world.

6. Emmanuelle Chriqui - Love her! Another new face - known for her role as Eric's girlfriend on Entourage and again, it's nice to see someone different on this list.

5. Scarlett Johansson - we all know who she is.

4. Elisha Cuthbert - HOTTIE!!!!! Played in The Girl Next Door, House of Wax, The Game and a bunch of other movies I've never seen - but she's extremely HOT.

3. Jessica Alba - Can we get some fresh meat please????

2. Jessical Biel - I am so over this chick.

and the number one sexiest women....

1. Megan Fox - Love it!!!!! She's a hottie - she was in Transformers and I fell in love with her in that flick and it's awesome to see a fresh face on the list. Little known fact - she is dating David from 90210.

So, other interesting people that made the list...

#83 Jenna Fischer from the Office

#81 Mila Kunis from That 70's Show

#44 Heidi Montag from the Hills

#95 Lauren Conrad from the Hills (I bet she's pissed that Heidi is much higher than she is)

#61 Ellen Page from Juno


#100 Britney Spears