Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A Group!

Not to worry folks, court was a breeze...

School was good. Then I went to court and they put the list up on the door and I was at the top of the A List!! That means I'm in full compliance with everything. My drug tests were good, my money is all paid up and I got a glowing review from the Salvation Army program. So, the judge didn't yell at me tonight and I was in and out in a heartbeat. Loved it!

I just wanted to say thanks to you guys. It's nice to get support from my readers and it's awesome to be writing again. I missed it.

The poker bloggers are coming into town this weekend and I'm hoping to go hangout but I dunno. It would be best if I could play in the tournament but I probably can't afford it. If I'm not playing poker, I'll be wanting to drink with everyone and that obviously can't happen so I might just have to skip it all together this time around. I just can't take any chances that I might eff up.

So, anyway, with that being said I think I'm going to lay down and watch some T.V. and try to decompress.

We got a new girl at my sober house and she snores like nothing I've ever heard before. It's loud and annoying and I have to make sure I fall asleep first or else I might not ever fall asleep. I'm not kidding. She just got out of Casa Grande (a work release prison program) and I heard from another girl that she almost got into daily fights with her bunkie because of her loud and annoying snoring. Yikes! I'm looking forward to getting out of this place.

Goodnight!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Anxiety...

This is my 999th post. wow. I would have thought I'd have hit 1,000 a while ago actually, but I took quite a hiatus so it wasn't meant to be til now I guess.

Anyway, it's Tuesday night and I always start to get nervous around this time because I have to go to drug court tomorrow. It's not that I used, because I didn't. But, the thing is this...

Drug court is STRICT and we have to get tested three times a week and not only are they testing for drugs and alcohol, but they also test the protein and water levels in your urine to make sure you aren't flushing your system. I drink a lot of fluids especially water and energy drinks. And, I don't eat much protein. So, I'm always concerned that I'll get a low creat. If that happens I get locked up just the same as if I was using. I've been making an effort to eat peanut butter and nuts and stuff with protein, but I'm just not a big meat eater. OH well. And, the part that's really annoying is that we have no idea if we are in the clear until we get to court. They don't give you the results because they send them to a lab every single time. So, it's a little anxiety producing.

AND... We didn't have court last week cause of the holidays, so I have 6 drug tests to worry about instead of 3. I joined a homegroup over the weekend though and I got a sponsor. Do you guys remember Hilary (my sponsee sister from a few years ago)? Well, she had 5 years clean when we were hanging out and now she has 9 years clean so I asked her to sponsor me and she said yes. So, we'll be working the steps together soon.

On top of it, I wanted to go to a meeting tonight with my roommate and her sponsor, but I would have been home at 8:30 pm instead of 8 pm and I'd be breaking my P.O. induced curfew so I didn't do it. I called him to ask if it was okay, but he didn't answer so whatever. It's annoying as fuck this early ass curfew. If I get a job I think he'll lighten up, but I haven't been able to do that yet. Not with all the Monday - Friday stuff I have to do. I could work on the weekends, but I haven't even had time to go out and look yet.

I will though. Soon too. I'm getting antsy and need to start working again. I think I'll check craigslist right now actually.

I saw Breaking Dawn with my mom over the weekend and it was AWESOME. I love love love the Twilight Series.

Cross your fingers for me tomorrow night.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Back to life

Okay, I made it through the long 4 day holiday weekend without incident and it's back to business as usual today. Four days might not seem like a big deal to most of you, but holidays are always hard so I'm happy that it's over. Even though I of course had a really nice holiday and it was nice to remember the whole thing this year. ha ha

Happy Monday

Saturday, November 26, 2011

So good...

Okay, so I finally got a fancy new phone! Yay!! Finally! I was so behind the curve and behind the times with my simpleton little nothing paygo phone. But, whatever, I couldn't even afford to pay a day on it half the time because I had "better" things to do with that cash.

At any rate, I'm so excited about my new phone and my roommie went out and got the same exact phone too. We've been playing with them non stop. We both got up at 6 a.m. today (Saturday) and we are sitting side by side at the dining room table like two little kids on Christmas morning both playing with our phones. Hysterical really.

And here's a picture of it...



We have unlimited music downloading capabilities and that's really awesome. In addition, it has voice recognition software. I can be like "dial mom" and that shit works once in a while. hehe I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong but it doesn't seem to recognize what I'm saying half of the time.

Here's my question...

Can I write in my blog using that software??????? What do you guys think? And if so, how? It didn't really come with a manual. I mean, it had a little brochure thing, but nothing that was thick and nothing that even touched on blogs and voice recognition.

I know I can type out a text message using the software. So, I'm hoping I can do the blog too. That would be so cool.

Otherwise, let's see...

I went to a meeting thursday morning, had a lovely thansgiving with the rents and their friends. We played cards and I was winning til I had to be home for my 8 p.m. curfew. Yuck.

Friday I had to go to Choices for my UA and for a class. Today I went to a meeting, made it my homegroup and hung with my sponsor. Busy weekend. Tomorrow I'm going to see her too and go to the same meeting and me and mom are going to see the new Breaking Dawn movie. I'm so excited. Has anyone else seen it yet?????

First though, I have to watch the 3rd movie - Eclipse - at my parent's house. I taped it a few days ago. I watched New Moon the other day and it was so good. I read the book in jail, but the movie was really good too. I never had the opportunity to read Eclipse, so it's imperative that I see that 3rd movie before I watch Breaking Dawn.

How was everyone else's weekend??

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Really?????

I played in my first live poker tournament in ages today. I started off small. I just went to Buffalo Bill's (the old Barbary Coast) on Flamingo and Las Vegas Boulevard and it was a 30 dollar buyin. My mom and dad both played too and I ran into PokerTony there. Anyway, I wasn't ten minutes into the tournament when I found myself staring down at JQ. The flop was 9, 10, K so I had a straight! Very nice. The guy two seats over raised to 150, I went over the top to 500, he went to 3000 and I pushed all in. He turns over K9 and OF COURSE HE GETS A FREAKIN KING on the river to BEAT MY STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so freakin annoyed. I'm still irritated. But, worse than that. They only paid 3 places and my dad went out in 4th on the bubble. Sheesh. The cincotta luck was non existant today.

Happy Turkey Day everyone!!!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

ugh.....

So, today was interesting...

I had to be up very early, say 5:30 ish. I had to meet the probation officer at his office at 7 a.m. and I was on time, early even. So, he's very very by the book. I'm just starting probation so he made me go over the rules with him and when we got to the curfew part he says "what's your curfew over at the sober house?" and I'm like "midnight" and he's like "okay, your new curfew is 8 p.m." Nice. "and you can't leave in the morning until 6 a.m." Um. Okay.

We got to the rule about travel and he's like "your not going anywhere anytime soon so don't even think about it". ha ha And then, of course, there's the no drugs and no alcohol thing which of course I have had beaten into my head a thousand times so I think I understand that.

He was supposed to show up tonight to do a "home visit" where he can check the house, meet my roommie or whatever, or just go through my shit. Whatever he wants basically. But, it's almost 9 pm and he hasn't shown up so I don't think he's coming. I hope not cause I'm about to hop in bed. I had to waive my right to "no illegal searches and seizures" when I got on probation. So, I can be searched anytime and anywhere and he can take my cell phone and go through it whenever he wants and like, in the last week I've been given about 5 drug tests. hehe One of them was a mouth swab. Sheesh. I passed every single one of them though :)

He's all "i'm an asshole, but i'm an asshole that you want in your corner so don't test the waters and there's no gray area - it's black or it's white with me". Well, unfortunately, I work really well under those kinds of constraints. When I'm not allowed to think, I thrive. When my back's up against the wall, my head quiets down. So, I'm thinking I'll be okay.

I had a pass to stay at my parent's house Wed and Thurs. of this week that the sober house approved. I had to run it past him though and he DENIED me. Of course. I guess I had a feeling that was going to happen. I'm a little disappointed but I'm not going to freak out or anything. This too shall pass. I know that all this crap is temporary and it's pretty much standard procedure for new people so anyway, I'll just have to find ways to entertain myself in the evenings. I get bored here at night and I like to go to night meetings and stuff but I don't even think I can do that with this 8 pm curfew.

In class yesterday we had a great speaker. The head of the Federal Marshalls in Nevada (presidentially appointed) came to talk to us and he was really interesting and very nice and down to earth and he let us ask a lot of questions and stuff. It was pretty neat.

And, basically, that's it folks. Goodnight.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Way Back...

So, what can I say? Let's see. Here's the agenda for this week...

I have to be at this like place tomorrow at 7am. It's the place you go to get a sheriff's card or fingerprints or something. If you have a warrant for your arrest they lock you up on sight. I'm cool though. So, I'll be okay. I have to get some sort of printout to prove to my Probation Officer that I don't have to register as a felon.

Okay, so that's tomorrow morning, plus I gotta drop a UA after class. Then, Tuesday morning I have to meet up with my Probation Officer for the very first time at his office at 7 am and then of course head straight to class at 8 am.

And then, Wednesday I have to go to class and do the UA thing and we are actually off drug court at night cause of the holidays and we are off class Thursday and Friday. If I can get approval from the PO I'm staying at my parents house Wed night and Thurs night.

My friend Scarlett went inpatient at Salvation Army and they get to have visitors on Wednesday night and her family isn't coming cause they are all into their diseases. Her mom's a functional addict, smoking meth and still holding a job somehow. weird. So, I wanna go see her Wed night. I'm just not sure if I'm allowed to though since I'm not family and I'm in the outpatient program. We shall see.

Did I mention the Ravens kicked some Bengals ass today?! woot woot!!

I'm psyched. We are in FIRST place with the ugly black and yellow team. Hopefully we can kick them out of the top spot.

I went to meetings today and yesterday, hung out with the rents, downloaded tons of old school stuff, made a few cds, even made one for a guy in my class cause I'm nice like that. Yesterday was mom's birthday and I used some of my freeplay at the Cannery and Terribles but didn't win a dime. I'm looking forward to gorging myself with turkey and stuff on Thursday. YUMM. Picking up weight by the minute. Hate that part of getting clean but it's inevitable.

We are about to have our mandatory Sunday night house meeting which is always a blast - NOT. So, I'm gonna get off here and let someone else hop online before we start. Goodnight!

This is an example of some of the old school stuff I downloaded - OMG - this song takes me back...


Friday, November 18, 2011

30 Days

GUESS WHAT???? I have...




Okay, well, I have it on Sunday, but I don't usually blog on Sunday so I just wanted to throw it out there, even though there are no fronts of course :) Happy Friday!!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Always Something

Wow. What a day...

Sooooooo, I got approval from drug court last night to go into class late today, so I had my mom come get me and first we went to the food stamp place so I could turn my packet in. I got in an argument with the girl at the window and security banned me from that particular office. ha ha. Fun.

Next, i went to social services to apply for rental assistance. I guess, once a year you can get $400 for rent. Once a year. Not every month, but whatever, every little bit helps. I waited an hour and got an appt. to come back on December 13th.

After that we went to a different food stamp office where the line was around the building, but since I'm not in a huge huge rush to get the food stamps, I just threw the application in the drop box and supposedly they will call me with an appt. to come back. I like that. Waiting in line totally sucks.

Our next stop was at the court house. We put four quarters in the meter and headed up through the metal detectors and grabbed a ticket at the city counter (municipal court). There was like 45 people ahead of us. So, I went up to the 2nd floor and grabbed a ticket at the county window (justice court). Yup, I've gotten in trouble all over Vegas, city and county. So, my mom was able to find out about upcoming court cases for me on the 1st floor while I found out about upcoming court cases on the 2nd floor.

Check this out...

I missed court for a misdemeanor case in June. I just didn't show up, they put a bench warrant out for my arrest, my public defender (on a different case) quashed the warrant for me so that I would and could show up for sentencing, other wise I would have been arrested when I went into the courthouse. So, I go to the window and the county lady is like "you don't have any upcoming cases" and I explained to here that I missed one in June. She looks it up and says "they quashed the warrant and closed your case". WHAT????? Hell yeah!!!!! My mom says I have a freaking goldenhorse shoe up my ass and she's probably right. I do get a lot of 2nd and 3rd and 4th chances, but like, I'm just so happy that I don't have to worry about this particular case, cause first of all I was supposed to do 20 hours of community service and while I did do it, I never got the letter of proof to show that I did it so I was going to have to re-do it. In addition, I was supposed to take a $300 class and I don't have the dough for that. On top of it, I was supposed to stay out of trouble and instead I picked up 4 felonies, soooooooo, I was maybe going to have to do some time. So, yeah, I'm really happy.

I know it's because I'm doing well. If I was still effing up this wouldn't have happened and I'd be back in jail for sure.

Just an FYI... I got a wobbler on the 4 felonies, meaning that if I complete all the treatment, drug court and probation I'll get a gross misdemeanor out of it and I still won't have any felony convictions on my record.

So, I'm gonna do the DAMN thing :)

I'll tell the food stamp story and why I got kicked out tomorrow. Goodnight!!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

sheesh...

So, it's Wednesday. I was actually looking forward to going to Drug Court tonight cause I knew I gave three clean pee tests in the past week and there was no way I was going to get into any trouble. I also made a payment to Drug Court and the Judge really really likes that. Of course, my name ended up being at the bottom of the B group which is annoying because there was like 35 or 45 people ahead of me and it seemed like every single one of them had an issue or complaint or question for the judge. I just sat there and listened and waited as patiently as I could for my turn. And of course, I'm serious, this freaking Judge just DOES NOT like me. I got yelled at AGAIN this week and I thought I was in perfect compliance and basically I was, but she had my file in front of her and saw that North Las Vegas put out a warrant for my arrest because I was behind in my payments to them. Thankfully my mom went up there and made a payment for me earlier in the week so that's taken care of and the warrant is gone.

Unfortunately, she asked me if I was taking care of the other stuff that's hanging over my head and I told her that I had asked Gilbert for assistance in finding out when my next court dates were and she started going off on me telling me that wasn't there job and that I had to take care of it myself. blah blah. It's not that easy. I've tried looking it up online and I can't even find anything about any upcoming court dates, but I know I missed some and I'm trying to figure out what to do about that.

Right now, there are no warrants for my arrest so I can probably go to a window somewhere in the courthouse and get some info. from someone I hope.

At any rate, I'm home, it's 7:30 p.m. and as always I was thrilled to walk out of the court room instead of being detained. I also had to take a mouth swab drug test at Salvation Army today. No sweat. I know they are sending it to the lab and testing for everything under the sun including synthetic speed, synthetic coke and synthetic weed but I'm all good. It's a good feeling.

So, besides that, I'm just going to take care of some of my outstanding crap tomorrow. Mom's coming to get me in the morning and I have a job interview too so hopefully I can start making some dough and work a little on the weekends.

Happy Hump Day!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Good Day

So, today was awesome. I got up, had a ride to school which is always a bonus, stopped at mcdonalds for breakfast, had a good lunch, stuck around and had a nice dinner (we get to eat lunch and dinner at the salvation army for free if we choose to and I choose to a lot). After dinner, Scarlett, Ryan and I went to Choices to drop off some pee. Yumm. Not. I'm not joking when I tell you that this lady, Dotty, has a desk set up in the restroom. She's like the pee Nazi. She makes us pull up our shirts, roll our sleeves up, rinse our hands before we pee, label our cup, show our drivers license, pee in the cup while standing, not allowed to sit down, etc etc. There's no way your bringing in some fake pee on her watch. ha ha

Anyway, after the trip to the pee clinic we went to this awesome meeting called Connect the Dots at this church on Palomino which is this really nice neighborhood with these really expensive houses. Apparently Michael Jackson used to have a crib on this street and I saw it - WOW! Really nice place.

I digress. The mtg was amazing. There was like 300 alcoholics there and the main speaker had 31 years sober. Quite an inspiration. I even teared up a bit. Scarlett gave me a ride home and I gotta tell ya, it's always a good day when I don't have to take the bus.

I'm tired sort of. I'm sort of wired from the monster energy drinks and sort of tired from the busy day. I feel like it was a good day though. I got home and I have a female roommate finally. This halfway house is co-ed so it's been just me and about 14 guys. It's weird though cause they don't really hit on me and I'm totally not used to that. I've been alone in my room for the past two weeks. I'm not exactly thrilled to have a new roommate. I kinda liked having the room to myself but oh well. Whatcha gonna do??

Back to school in the morning.

Happy Monday

Another Monday morning...

I just cleaned the dining room here at my sober house. That's apparently my chore and it's been the same for about the past three weeks. I don't know when they ever rotate it. There's a pile of dishes in the sink because these lazy fucks never clean up after themselves, but they are looking in the WRONG direction if they think i'm doing their dishes. I do my own every time I eat and that's it.

So, today, I'm very pleased to have a ride to school. If I had to take the bus I would have already had to leave. My friend Luke is coming to pick me up today, but I'm sad cause he's graduating this week so there goes my ride in the morning. I'll still meet him at meetings on the weekend though.

Yesterday I ran into Hilary again. You know, when we were hanging out she had like 5 years clean and now she has 9 years. Um, wow. The last 4 years of my life - down the tubes for the most part. Sad really.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Game Day

Yesterday was a really good day. My dad came and got me early in the morning and then they let me take the car to two different meetings. Oh, just an FYI, they turned the tags in from my car the last time I was locked up so I won't be driving my own car for a while. But, anyway, my friend Hilary was speaking at the first meeting so that was really cool. I was surprised too. I had no idea she was going to be there.

Three people from my class were at the 2nd meeting so that was cool too. After all that my dad took me to the grocery store and I stocked up. I'm eating like a pig.

Tonight we are going to Vino's at the Cannery. I love that place. Best Italian food around and I have a fifteen dollar off coupon plus a buy one entree get one free coupon. Nice right??

Well, anyway, I'm about to head to North Las Vegas to hang with the rents again!!! Go RAVENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


glitter-graphics.com

Friday, November 11, 2011

Pumped up Kicks

Okay. Feeling good! It's Friday night. I got a ride to Choices after class and dropped a nice clean UA on those damn drug court mfer's. Then, of course, I had to take two buses to get home and walk about a half a mile to my sober house. At least I might not get as fat as I usually do when I'm first getting clean because of all the walking and what not.

I made it home safely and now I'm just chillin on the computer. I'll probably lay down and watch some TV soon and pig out like I do every night. I guess over the weekend I'll hit a meeting or two and I'm going to eat at Vino's Sunday night with the rents. Mom lets me take her car while they are bowling on Sunday nights so I can hit a meeting. Right now I have about 22 days clean and I'm going strong. Feeling great. Hopefully, I won't allow the boredom to take me out like it has in the past.

One of my favorite girls, Lily, graduated from class today so I'll miss her. And, on Thanksgiving I don't have any plans and we have a 4 day weekend so I'm not really looking forward to that, but hopefully I can find something to do. My friend Scarlett is going to be alone too so we are hoping to find something fun and recovery related to do together.

Besides that all is well in Vegas tonight.

Have a good weekend.

I like this song too...

http://youtu.be/SDTZ7iX4vTQ

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

oops

Oh good lord. I'm thanking my lucky stars that I'm home tonight to tell the story...

I went to Drug Court tonight at 5 p.m. and my name was in the 'D' Box. D as in "detained". It's the worst box to be in and most of the 'D' box gets locked up.

It was a case of "lack of communication". When I got released from jail on Halloween I was given instructions to report to the Salvation Army the very next morning and to come back to court at 5 p.m. on November 9th. Nobody ever told me I was supposed to be dropping UA's at this drug treatment place every Monday and Wednesday and Friday night. Oops.

They gave me a drug test right there in the court house and i was clean so I got to go home after hearing an ear ful from the judge. Yikes.

Thankfully I'm not in jail tonight. Ugh.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

ouch

Ouch!!!!! I slammed my finger in the car door tonight. It's turning black and blue as we speak. I had ice on it earlier and now it's still hurting hours later. Amazing.

So, yeah, I got a new ipod today! woo hoo. Walking to the bus in the morning might not be quite as bad tomorrow. And court tomorrow night should be a blast. Wish me luck gang.

World Series of Poker Final Table. wow. already? How time flies!

goodnight kids

Monday, November 07, 2011

6 foot 7 foot...

Okay, so last night was a HUGE win for us!!!!!!! What an awesome game.

I'm probably blogging for nobody but myself at this point. I can't imagine that I would have even a handful of readers left anymore, but that's okay because I really don't blog for anyone but myself anyway. It's therapeutic to me.

I've spent more like 40 days this year so far in Clark County Detention Center and I didn't enjoy it. None of it! I'm telling you guys that place is hell on earth. Seriously. The food is so nasty. I hate it there. I hope that's enough of a reason for me to stay on the straight and narrow. I'm trying my ass off.

Right now I'm at my Sober House. It rocks here. I love this place. I've never been all that happy to live in a sober house but this place is co-ed and we have a midnight curfew and the rules are pretty relaxed and they don't bug the shit out of us like they do at other places.

Besides that I'm in the Salvation Army Intensive Daily Treatment Program everyday during the week so I just have the weekends to myself which is cool. The people in my class are awesome and i'm feeling pretty good about things today.

I also have to go to Drug Court every Wednesday Night and I have to go to drop a UA every Monday, Wednesday and Friday nights.

And if that's not enough, I have a probation officer to check in with too.

On any given day I could get surprise drug test from 4 different places. Can you imagine? I can't get away with SHIT! I can't even drink cough syrup. ha ha

So, I guess that's what I need.

I love this song and video....

http://youtu.be/c7tOAGY59uQ

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Big sunday


Ravens vs. Steelers game today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gooooooo Ravens!!!!!


Saturday, November 05, 2011

Friday Night

Hey guys!

Back again. I know I know. I'm so inconsistent with the updates.

But whatever. I went to see the new Footloose movie tonight and it was so good. I totally loved it. I'm sitting there watching it and I can't figure out who the female star Ariel is and it's bugging me and bugging me. The girl was such a knockout and great dancer. So, of course in the final credits I find out that it's none other than Dancing with the Stars Julianne Hough. How am I not able to figure this out during the movie?? I mean, she's literally one of my favorite dancers from that show. Well, the dark hair was confusing. I guess. What else can I say? I've been in a fog too long. I'm coming to finally. Goodnight kids.

http://youtu.be/w1s7GX8TOvo